Changing moon phases, unchanging street lights...
Changing lives, unchanging hearts.
I know where me heart lies, I too know it's unreachable. Mayhaps come the day where I have it close to me and in my grasp, I may just breathe my last breath with no regrets.
Hell, I'm already genuinely happy. But for that little, simple wish of mine which is the size of a pebble in a huge seabed, I'll never stop trying to find it...
...until the time has ran out.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Coin toss
So here am I, wrapped up with all my business with Australia. Sitting by the airport and waiting for the boarding gate to open, dreading every second that passed by.
You'd want scenes in drama to take place so you could just walk right back out the terminal and head back to that comfy nest you so dearly missed. Alas things would never go your way, the pendulum will not come to an end, because our silly dream of living a life of repeating déjà vu of our favourite moments will never come true.
It is in that instance where our minds have thoughts running like a peak hour traffic, dominating and numbing all your senses, where we come to realization of many things. This waiting that I have to do right now is pretty much like a tossed coin in midair. It's that crucial moment where the your actual desire stands out. You know it, and you're sure of it.
After all the farewells just now and these few days...something became clear suddenly...
...........I really have to go for it don't I? It's still that one thing that really matters isn't it after all these years? That sensation still clings to me as though it was just a second ago.
I don't know anymore.
You'd want scenes in drama to take place so you could just walk right back out the terminal and head back to that comfy nest you so dearly missed. Alas things would never go your way, the pendulum will not come to an end, because our silly dream of living a life of repeating déjà vu of our favourite moments will never come true.
It is in that instance where our minds have thoughts running like a peak hour traffic, dominating and numbing all your senses, where we come to realization of many things. This waiting that I have to do right now is pretty much like a tossed coin in midair. It's that crucial moment where the your actual desire stands out. You know it, and you're sure of it.
After all the farewells just now and these few days...something became clear suddenly...
...........I really have to go for it don't I? It's still that one thing that really matters isn't it after all these years? That sensation still clings to me as though it was just a second ago.
I don't know anymore.
Monday, January 7, 2013
Ignorance & Bliss
So, all that'd suppose to be done are done. Been quite a long way since first year of University and definitely been a while in Melbourne. Quite an experience I've gotta say. I think there's a good 1 and 1/2 months between my sister's wedding and this point of time.
Goldcoast was the first place that I went to visit right after I came back Australia. Sunny place indeed, but cool at the same time with lots of wind to make the visit a very comfortable one.
The next day we continued down to Alice Springs with a 8 hours bus ride. Hell, these bus rides are a pain to take. Reached Alice Springs and mistaken the car rental rates and a little bump there. Managed to solved it eventually, just told the car rental staff "give me 5 minutes", took a seat down and all the math took its place. Long drive down Erldunda, one of the pitstop for sleepover. That place literally have a petrol station, motel and a restaurant out in the openness. Google Map made the "town" a lot bigger than it seems. Kings canyon was a tough hike in terms of the water supply requirement. We could only complete 1/3 of the circuit as 3L of water is required for the entire circuit and our water bottles have limited capacity. Managed to see most of it anyways.
To be honest, I find the weather in Alice Springs a lot more bearable than I'd thought it would be. For example, our Kings Canyon hike was blessed with moderate cloud cover, making it very doable. Then I was yelling and going all WAHHHHH in the car because the cloudcover would block the sunset, and I wouldn't be able to capture the Ayers Rock, probably the most famous tourism spot in central, in the signature poster lighting. Well, I could only thank god when we reached there. There was just sufficient gap in the skies when I reach, and sufficient time for me to capture the shots before the sunset is blocked again. Snap snap snap, and headed back to our accomodation on new year's eve. We did not go for the countdown at the local pub...asians. Meh. Well partly was because we had to wake up at 4am the other morning to catch the sunrise view on the Ayers Rock.
It's really a majestic piece of rock if I'd have to say, simply stunning even viewing it from a great distance. Wrapped up our business at Kata Tjuta National Park the next day ( not after loads of pics ) and head back straight to Alice Springs and spend 2 nights there.
Suppose to check in a backpackers but he said he'd already upgraded us into a motel. First thought in my mind was, "you took the liberty to upgrade our accommodation cost without our permissions?". Oh wells, turns out the place is at the same price, WITH MOAR facilities. Air conditioned room, with en-suite shower room and also a pool. BONUS! What's even better is, when we're checking in, the motel manager told us to head to the back of a mountain range, there's a motel there to purchase food for rock wallabies and we'll get to interact with them. Well, that sounds all too good to be true, but turns out, they WERE the reality.
Last day we had some tour along the West MacDonnell Ranges and call it a day before boarding the train the next day, which would take 22 hours plus.
So here am I, finished with my trips and getting all prep'd to fly back to KL tomorrow. 2 years just flew past like that, so was so many sights and sounds. These kind of situations always packed with a mixture of feelings. Australia has been a life-changing experience to me, so was my previous oversea education journey. It'd be a let-down if it hadn't change me at all, these opportunities are meant to be there to change me...hopefully for the better.
Ideals change overtime, as well as reasoning and our thought processes. Maybe time too will soften my character, but as I notice I'm growing, I'm becoming harsh, ruthless and unkind. My growing up has always been a different one, and life has been unkind to me in many many ways, at the same time it has been very much a blessing. It'd always depend on how we view them, and how we perceive these encounters - as a lesson or as a punishment. I'll never stop growing and get sharpened, but this sort of growing up is commonly perceived as twisted. Realities are deemed harsh by many people and difficult to be accepted, but my thoughts are moulded throughout the years to perceive it as a "necessity".
I'd hate to say this but the sight of people refusing to accept the reality is really unbearable to me. If you'd want me to name the common flaws in nowadays young adults, that'd be it. The pretentious show they put up in front of people is sometimes very tiring to witness, when they have so much to say. Honesty is really something hard to find in nowadays people, as well as courage.
There's just a long list of acts committed by people which will stream endlessly. There are so many things that happened that I really just have no idea how to deal with them anymore, I probably have no idea what am I saying right now because all the images of all the happening throughout the whole of 2011 and 2012, just came flashing right back at me all at once. This coming 2 months break with ample of alone time is probably a good time for me to process all that thoughts.
So much harsh decisions have been made and I will not be condescended by anyone with regards of the severity of it all. Then again when I see the frailty in humanity I just couldn't help but to think just how weak these people are, crumbling at the tiniest road bumps of all.
"Be strong, don't be weak"
That's the strongest voice I heard all the time, just like in the movie by Will Smith, "Seven Pounds". We have so much capacity to withhold the challenges, but people just want to sit around crying hoping someone could solve the problem for them.
If you are reading this, remember this - the denials you've made is an insult to the healthy and the living ones. You probably have not seen the cruel world, such as tsunami wiping out all that they have including family. With no where proper to live and no one to talk, nor a place of belonging for the physical body and the soul. Yet when you cross eyes with them, beings that are so young and fragile, their burning desire to continually strive and survive and live on touches your soul. I could have had a much more commanding presence in comparisons to them in terms of wealth and power, but I'd say this - their strength, and their capacity belittles me.
...and then a display of strong will is often seen as cruel to most people. Something I'll never quite get it.
Nuff' said I guess. This would really go endless if I'd don't stop somewhere. Hence I've made a new resolution for 2013, which I shall strived to achieve it in times past, such as having a fruit everyday to getting a workout once a week.
Goldcoast was the first place that I went to visit right after I came back Australia. Sunny place indeed, but cool at the same time with lots of wind to make the visit a very comfortable one.
Surfing lessons were fun but not without some pain and effort. Pretty hard to get the hang of gliding with the waves and get both your feet on the board. The tough part, and also the most exhausting part for us had got to be getting out feet on the board, it's literally doing push-up but with more velocity because it had to be quick. That was the first day, and the rest of the days we had tickets to all the three parks, Movie World, Sea World and Wet n' Wild. Movie world had got to be the best with the Superman ride.
The ride had some sort of lore and storyline moments after the vehicle moved off the boarding gate. Blah blah blah with car wrecks, and then the signature lines "Don't worry, I'll get us out of here fast. SUPERMAN fast!" then with the vehicle parked at a distance away from the huge inverted U-shape coaster platform you see above, it goes BOOM and accelerated at a speed I have never experienced before. It was so godly fast!
Wet n' Wild had rides like packing you in a capsule a good couple of storeys high. Then after loading you into this tiny capsule, it had a countdown and a shaft opens right beneath you and you drop a good 2 storeys and go woo-waa in the tubes. Amazing rides, glad I took them all! Lots of pictures taken too!
Then came my parents and the tour around Melbourne for them. Brought them to every possible corners ( ok at least the majority ) of Melbourne, from Queen Victoria Market, to Royal Botanic Garden, to Phillip Island, Beer Garden, Lygon Street for Ying Thai and Freddo's Ice cream, DFO, and even booked them Great Ocean Road trip because I was too tired to drive all the way there.
Graduation was up next. ZE MOMENT that most of us have been waiting for 4 years. Got to say I'm pretty nervous prior to the handling of the scroll up on the stage, while I was queueing below of course. Got it after all, and tons of group photos for all of us that are graduating. Boy, that was some huge group of Asians from Sunway Campus. That spell the end of my academic career, and it's highly unlikely that I'll commit myself to further studying in the future.
Right after the day of graduation, I headed off to Tasmania. Here I'll have loads of complaints to lodge. The weather wasn't pleasant at all at Tasmania, with constant showers throughout the day and misty weathers. A lot of the places are either closed for good, or not operating at all. Driving a caravan is quite a pain as well due to the loud engine noise and the dishes clashing at the back of the caravan. To top it off, to travel at 110km/h on a caravan is as far as I could go, and that's only possible on an expressway. It's all big and huge don't get me wrong, and very comfortable as well but it comes with a great cost, both literal meanings and metaphorically. The use of the shower weren't as great as we'd thought it would be, and the wastes container is quite a pain to empty. It's an experience don't get me wrong, but I'd think I'll settle with trying just this once.
The island was nice and quiet though, which is a rather nice place for vacation. Great place with great people, just horrible weathers and shits which messed up half my itinerary up.
Especially cradle mountain with the heavy fog, and that exceptionally cold weather and drizzle throughout the day. However I had a enlightening time at the Tasmanian Devil Interpretation Centre learning about Tasmanian devils and get to touch one. Blah blah blah, didnt have much memory of that place because it disappoints me so much. My last day at Hobart also had issues with car rental, however still manage to get one and get to travel up Mount Wellington. Says it was 9 degrees on their website, I was all NAH no way in hell that would happen. Oh. OH. ./brain freeze
Oh last pic's the view of the town Hobart from atop Mount Wellington. Nuff' said about Tasmania, what a letdown. Not to mention we missed the Cadbury Factory too, probably my bad on that. Didn't know they close on weekends. Then came Christmas and boxing day! Had an open house for Christmas, with gift exchange!
The other day was pretty insane though, woke up to catch a 6 am bus and travel to DFO Essendon for all the boxing day goodness and discounts. Grabbed a Ray-Ban shades there, and received sponsors from friends who were there with me, as well as $10 from an ang pao during Christmas gift exchange...BONUS! at the same time...hmm. Went off for brunch, followed by DFO South Wharf where I was there to grab my dream pair of shoes. Had my eyes fixated on that pair for a good half a year plus, with every visit ended with me feeling a void in my heart because they were expensive and it's out of my budget. Found the same pair at Essendon but they ran out of size, but thankfully the one at South Wharf it. I knew it all too well where the shoes are, walked into the shop straight and directly to the corner which I last seen it. Truthfully it was still there and I asked for my size. Started off with a disappointment and then things took a turn for the better when the staff went "OH!", for completely missing it out at first because it was hidden at the bottom. Closed my spending right after that, was a very rewarding day. Shopping is definitely best done with ample planning! Yes, I've been planning to have a pair of shades for months too.
Next up - Central Australia. Boy, that's one hell of an adventure. Started off by flying to Adelaide, oh and we had to stay over in the city because the next day flight is at 7am...well it was a cheap one so what can I do. Adelaide, man, what a boring city. We had 8am till 6pm to burn in the city, and to be honest there really isnt much to do in the city. The idea of going to the zoo to watch WANG-WANG the panda kept coming up. Board the bus at 6.30pm and travelled 11 hours straight to Coober Pedy. Yeah you heard me right, 11 hours straight bus ride. Checked in Coober Pedy underground hostel, and spend a day there until 5am the next day. The town of Coober Pedy is famous for the Opal mines, so we did visit a mine and walked around a little. Underground backpackers was cold though, we opted to rent some blankets eventually.
The next day we continued down to Alice Springs with a 8 hours bus ride. Hell, these bus rides are a pain to take. Reached Alice Springs and mistaken the car rental rates and a little bump there. Managed to solved it eventually, just told the car rental staff "give me 5 minutes", took a seat down and all the math took its place. Long drive down Erldunda, one of the pitstop for sleepover. That place literally have a petrol station, motel and a restaurant out in the openness. Google Map made the "town" a lot bigger than it seems. Kings canyon was a tough hike in terms of the water supply requirement. We could only complete 1/3 of the circuit as 3L of water is required for the entire circuit and our water bottles have limited capacity. Managed to see most of it anyways. 
To be honest, I find the weather in Alice Springs a lot more bearable than I'd thought it would be. For example, our Kings Canyon hike was blessed with moderate cloud cover, making it very doable. Then I was yelling and going all WAHHHHH in the car because the cloudcover would block the sunset, and I wouldn't be able to capture the Ayers Rock, probably the most famous tourism spot in central, in the signature poster lighting. Well, I could only thank god when we reached there. There was just sufficient gap in the skies when I reach, and sufficient time for me to capture the shots before the sunset is blocked again. Snap snap snap, and headed back to our accomodation on new year's eve. We did not go for the countdown at the local pub...asians. Meh. Well partly was because we had to wake up at 4am the other morning to catch the sunrise view on the Ayers Rock.
It's really a majestic piece of rock if I'd have to say, simply stunning even viewing it from a great distance. Wrapped up our business at Kata Tjuta National Park the next day ( not after loads of pics ) and head back straight to Alice Springs and spend 2 nights there.
Suppose to check in a backpackers but he said he'd already upgraded us into a motel. First thought in my mind was, "you took the liberty to upgrade our accommodation cost without our permissions?". Oh wells, turns out the place is at the same price, WITH MOAR facilities. Air conditioned room, with en-suite shower room and also a pool. BONUS! What's even better is, when we're checking in, the motel manager told us to head to the back of a mountain range, there's a motel there to purchase food for rock wallabies and we'll get to interact with them. Well, that sounds all too good to be true, but turns out, they WERE the reality.
Last day we had some tour along the West MacDonnell Ranges and call it a day before boarding the train the next day, which would take 22 hours plus.
So here am I, finished with my trips and getting all prep'd to fly back to KL tomorrow. 2 years just flew past like that, so was so many sights and sounds. These kind of situations always packed with a mixture of feelings. Australia has been a life-changing experience to me, so was my previous oversea education journey. It'd be a let-down if it hadn't change me at all, these opportunities are meant to be there to change me...hopefully for the better.
Ideals change overtime, as well as reasoning and our thought processes. Maybe time too will soften my character, but as I notice I'm growing, I'm becoming harsh, ruthless and unkind. My growing up has always been a different one, and life has been unkind to me in many many ways, at the same time it has been very much a blessing. It'd always depend on how we view them, and how we perceive these encounters - as a lesson or as a punishment. I'll never stop growing and get sharpened, but this sort of growing up is commonly perceived as twisted. Realities are deemed harsh by many people and difficult to be accepted, but my thoughts are moulded throughout the years to perceive it as a "necessity".
I'd hate to say this but the sight of people refusing to accept the reality is really unbearable to me. If you'd want me to name the common flaws in nowadays young adults, that'd be it. The pretentious show they put up in front of people is sometimes very tiring to witness, when they have so much to say. Honesty is really something hard to find in nowadays people, as well as courage.
There's just a long list of acts committed by people which will stream endlessly. There are so many things that happened that I really just have no idea how to deal with them anymore, I probably have no idea what am I saying right now because all the images of all the happening throughout the whole of 2011 and 2012, just came flashing right back at me all at once. This coming 2 months break with ample of alone time is probably a good time for me to process all that thoughts.
So much harsh decisions have been made and I will not be condescended by anyone with regards of the severity of it all. Then again when I see the frailty in humanity I just couldn't help but to think just how weak these people are, crumbling at the tiniest road bumps of all.
"Be strong, don't be weak"
That's the strongest voice I heard all the time, just like in the movie by Will Smith, "Seven Pounds". We have so much capacity to withhold the challenges, but people just want to sit around crying hoping someone could solve the problem for them.
If you are reading this, remember this - the denials you've made is an insult to the healthy and the living ones. You probably have not seen the cruel world, such as tsunami wiping out all that they have including family. With no where proper to live and no one to talk, nor a place of belonging for the physical body and the soul. Yet when you cross eyes with them, beings that are so young and fragile, their burning desire to continually strive and survive and live on touches your soul. I could have had a much more commanding presence in comparisons to them in terms of wealth and power, but I'd say this - their strength, and their capacity belittles me.
...and then a display of strong will is often seen as cruel to most people. Something I'll never quite get it.
Nuff' said I guess. This would really go endless if I'd don't stop somewhere. Hence I've made a new resolution for 2013, which I shall strived to achieve it in times past, such as having a fruit everyday to getting a workout once a week.
Hush, not my business.
...and along with that comes with less commenting.
You might or might not have noticed it,
I do acknowledge your actions and sacrifices,
but there's only so much I could be,
and I'm just too used to the harsh decisions,
that I've forgotten how it was to be foolish any more,
...thanks for coming. Bye.
I do acknowledge your actions and sacrifices,
but there's only so much I could be,
and I'm just too used to the harsh decisions,
that I've forgotten how it was to be foolish any more,
...thanks for coming. Bye.
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