Cold Snap

Heroes Season 3 - DONE! Wootz its been very entertaining watching the HEROES series, and i swear of ALL abilites that have been demonstrated by the characters inside the series, whether by good or malicious intention, this one has got to be the coolest one

 

  

 

And, off all the characters, Angela Petrelli has got to be my favourite actress/actor. She totally pulled off the many roles that was expected, and she did it with such brilliance. Be it a kinda mother, to a selfish company woman, or a confused lost person with all her guilts haunting her, or a helpless woman that was running for her life, she totally managed it.

 

 

 

You have my salutations!

Socks

So i've been very VERY addicted to the TV series HEROES untill the point that i can could watch 8+ episods a day. Yes it s very nice movie, and you'd probably wondering why am i had the title as "Socks" rather than "Heroes".

 

Well if those of you watched it, somewhere during the firts episod, Mrs Petrelli, mother of Peter and Nathan had both of them called to the police station because she stole socks. I was probably feeling the way the author wants me to feel, that she is an attention seeking woman with all the dark secrets behind her back. Oh wells, as i journey through the entire season 1 and 2 and finally reaching the end of season 3, during episod 23, she finally met her younger sister Alice.

 

Just for your info she used to be a big sister to her little one, and she always take care of her, her clothings etc. Once they were moved to a camp where people with special abilities were experimented, and that very one night where she sneaked out and left her sister behind, something awful happened and everyone was thought to be dead. That very moment where she and her younger sister reunited, and she said,

 

"Its time to go home. I Have socks for you.

Since that night, whenever i feel lost, whenever i dont know what to do.

I steal socks...

...for you.

To remind myself there are simple ways to protect the ones we love"

 

Which is so damn touching...if only you watch the entire episod 23 to get the idea. That was probably the MOST touching thing i've ever heard in the entire HEROES TV series. I'm getting more hooked with this series, because i'd thought most would eventually get dull, which turn out pretty true for many other series, but NOT THIS! Its just got better!

 

Alright yeah i think i should calm my enthusiasm and excitement down lol, because its getting late and i need to catch some sleep. Funny thing is my friend Giant missed 2 last episods of the season, but i could  __________, which i'll leave it to you to fill in the blanks =P, so no big deal haha. Candy dreams then y'all!

Compass

Yes the compass does point north all the time, but do you realize, it points south all the time as well?

 

When things turn bad, do we usually look back? Just a thought.

 

Soft Toys

I think i am just like a soft toy, just that i'm not stuffed with cottons.

 

I'm stuffed with anger and jealously all the time. Always asking "Why" to things i dont have, and to my own weaknesses.

I'm stuffed with insecurities, untill the point i sleep with myself cuddled up all the time and i have a high tendency to keep things tidy, and i will be very restless untill they are so, because by then would i feel safe by having everything under my control.

I'm stuffed with all my nightmares and bad memories, like a casette rewinding and repeating the same secenes again and again.

I'm stuffed with an attitude of mines which i don't quite understand where i got it from, but i get extremely worked up and mad everytime someone tries to take something i earned myself, that include even a char siew pao.

I'm stuffed with oversensitivity, that everytime people react in a way i tend to think i did something wrong all the time.

I'm stuffed with pessimism, not academic-wise, and tends to find myself ugly all the time.

I'm stuffed without a heart, i have never, or even if i had, i'd probably forgotten about how Love is.

 

This is Lester, on another chapter on himself.

School resumes!

Like i said, Uni resumes! All i can say nothing feels better than going back to the same Uni, lectures with all the familar faces and friends. =D

 

 

Eat those maggots you faggots!

So what happens if you wake up one morning, and found out your downstairs study room has maggots all over the floor? They could be falling from the sky and is still falling on your head! Its horrible! To have maggots in your house! Question is, where do they come from? Its the roof outside my room. YUCKness seriously, one dead rat laid opened like the ones you disected in the laboratory. Horrible smell as well.

 

Thats actually a bigger deal to talk about, but i'm really not in the mood for that so i'm onto faggots now.

 

My semester 2 timetable will be opened for Adjustment Mode tomorrow @ 10am. Anxious and excited am i, due to the fact i have absolutely nothing else to get excited for this holiday ( yes its that boring ), i get worriesome over some other things as well. I was wondering should i get my usual friend, Jan and Guo back on the exact same timetable again. Partly because i screwed one of the field project a little and am feeling guilty that i literally dragged Jan down, and Guo partially. So i was thinking should i get the same timetable with them again, or just screw it and let fate decide and i go according to what i would plan for myself?

 

Then i thought again, what would happen if i ever have to go every single tutorial class alone etc. The question "Do i need them?" keep popping over my head. Are friends really that important to the extend i can forgo my lifestyles and aims? Somehow, thats the feeling that went along with me to Singapore. I aint dont need too many friends, i have my aims and i should head straight for it. Friends should never be a stepping stone etc.

 

And i lied to myself that im not alone for 4 years?

 

Kintergarden was never a place for serious friendship, and primary school arent exactly filled with people that knows how to keep in contact with each other. I went SMK Taman Ehsan for one year, transferred to SMK Taman Bukit Maluri the next. The foundation of friendship are not even close to solid, and then it crumples and i move on to another construction. Then Singapore. Most of my buddies are kinda there from secondary school. I was happy and fun for some time. believe it or not i'd stuck to my sgporeans classmates way more than my hostelmates which are mostly scholars. Then i came back, did college and most of the closed ones went Australia. So i came Monash next, and suddenly i felt...

 

...I have no where to fall back on. Because i only have you guys, in the present.

 

I always see people celebrating birthdays with their past secondary schoolmates. Hanging out on a weekly basis with them. Birthday is one thing that i'd never really like. And those pictures of someone, sitting in front of a birthday cake, taking a group photo with a gang of friends, is something that really dampens my spirit for the day. I'm so jealous of those honestly. I think again and again, of the details of my pasttime and what couldve led to the "me" today. All i could say, again, is that world's fair. I've gained something, and lost something.

 

If this is what i have traded for the unique teenagehood ( getting the scholarship, going sg and what not ) i had experienced....

 

...I take it.

Blog

So blog is a lot about my life, what if there is nothing to blog about my life? maybe there is, yeah. its been really boring. And there has been too many things going through my head...i feel like yelling and getting those noises to stfu.

 

Its all bitter memories, have i not possess any good ones?

Chasing and Running.

Life is about chasing things. Chasing your dreams, chasing your wants, chasing your girlfriend. Its also about running away from things. Running away from reality, running away from fears, and running away from what makes you...stop chasing what you're chasing.

 

Often we chase things like a tiger. Beautiful sentiments that we thought it would define who we are, materials that would only give you only a brief moment of joy and satisfaction. Many times the tiger would stop and turn around, and both you and the tiger would pause for a minute. That very instance, then you would realized what terror and horror is installed in the thing you are always chasing.

 

You ran.

 

That was of course the better scenario, worst would be you having caught the tiger and the both of you fell off the cliff.

 

Do we want that?

Do you want that?

Do I want that?

 

I was often told, and taught to do self-reflection a lot during my secondary school years, and i have to thank the teachers actually for giving me a good moral upbringing, although some of the teachers prove to be a bitch sometimes haha. I usually dont pay attention to what teachers say usually, but some lessons theyre tying to conduct in a midst of chaos in the class, sometimes my radar would just pick them up and store them down in my un-overideable hardrive.

 

We were babies in a sea of toys, and we still are. So sometimes i guess its good to think about what we really want in life. But how else can we think straight when we are in a sea of toys with temptations reaching out to you and sticking onto you like black tar? Holidays. Or rather a period time when you are relieved of all these fucking toys. So this is a good time to reflect, whether do we really want that tiger, or not?

 

So let the tiger run. Let something you've grasped too hard in your life...off your hand. "You can be mad as a mad dog, but when the time's up, you have to let go." Quoted from the movie Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons, or maybe something along that line. So sometimes i guess we just have to let something go, and let out that sigh of relief.

 

We have only ten fingers, two hands, one mind.

How else can we hold on to more things, if we dont let some go?

Kids

Yeah apparently a lot of people are still behaving like one, and still calling others kids. Funny and ironic isnt it?

 

You know whats the most annoying part of this holiday? is to get you guys out for some outing etc. Seriously you all allergic to the outside world or what? Everytime i ask the all of you out, either

 

- No reply

- Taking 5 business days to get parents approval

- Numerous restrictions

- Not feeling very fun

- Pushing the responsibility to plan something and i'd always end up doing the job

- Making a shit tons of complaints about the current event and how boring it is, suggest something way too good and then get someone else to plan it.

- Acting bossy and not enthusiatic about it at all

 

Worst, did not reply and rejected with abundance of lame excuses, and come right back telling me i'm the one whos been saying no to everything and rejecting him. I beg your pardon? Honestly i have no idea why are you people like this, am i too fun or what? No plans or whatsoever for 2 weeks of holiday and still no one is planning anything. You guys can really sit at home play computer games huh? Because i can too, and usually i get sick of it and get my ass out to plan something, only to bump into the same bullshits again.

 

Very very frustrating. I'm serious. You know the well known "no life" phrase? I think its really an honour for you to receive that title.

WoW

WoW, its getting older. Time to look for a new game perhaps.

 

One week into holiday, 2 weeks left. Think think think of something to do. Was thinking of going down Singapore and really wanted to try flying to Bali alone and meeting with my Indonesian friends, all but in vain now due to the fact that H1N1 is in the very atmosphere we're in now and probably jeering at us weak homosapiens.

 

GG!

Knowing

I just watched the movie "Knowing", and i have really nothing to say. The scenes with people falling apart from the gruesome death...I dont know how to describe that feeling...I havent felt that for a long time, or rather...never had.

 

I was literally left speechless the entire time, i just couldnt breathe and my body just froze there watching the scenes. The screams are just petrifying. I think the moments when you are alone are the most frightening. So my thoughts were why exactly people are afraid of death? My personal thoughts are simply because they were scared to move on alone, they have no idea where they're heading.

 

Given you blindfolded, and left all alone, you would of course tremble in fear. However when given a hand where you could hold on to, or someone you could just hug towards to, you would of course feel safe. I know my blog is not exactly the kind of readeable ones, because i have so many thoughts going through my mind all the time, and i just have a feeling i should just get them written down somewhere before i forgot. Another thing is, dont you feel like you have voices over your head trying to tell you something or prove you something? Funny because i have so many things happened in my life before, somehow after a while they start to make a lot of sense why is it happening to me. Check out the lyrics of this song i've embeded in my blog titled "Somewhere only we know"

 

Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when, you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go, somewhere only we know
Somewhere only we know?

 

This is more than just coincidence i think. I was thinking about that phrase i mentioned earlier, about you being alone and such. My followed thoughts were, isnt that how we behaved when we were kids? We'd always look for a shelter and a sense of security and safety, and that usually come from our parents. A simple hug and babies would usually calm down, and that happened exactly to my sis's bf's newly bought puppy. It'd just settle down when its very near to you, like how my sis would hugged and tucked it near to her body. So kids werent all that afraid already isnt it? With their parents around all the time and they'd know they'll never be alone.

 

But what comes next when the hourglass takes a turn and the sand, just like time is running out?

 

You suddenly realised you were kinda alone isnt it? Some were brave enough to leave perhaps, some were comforted and embark on their next journey just like how your loved ones would send you off at the airport. The rest? They have faith in religions. They know there is someone taking the next path like my grandmother would do.

 

She had a strong belief in chritianity, and she just passed away less than 2 weeks ago. So she wasnt all that afraid of death, and she would probably be in the glory of the heavens now. For the rest of the people who were afraid, that is when they started thinking of their loved ones, and maybe probably their parents and where were all the comfort they used to shower on them? Just like the old days?

 

AND

 

this is the creepy part. Just now when i was thinking how to properly phrase my thoughts into paragraphs, untill the part "just like the old days?", i was resting my head on my hand which were supporting my heavy head, and just when i sorta regained consciousness of my surrounding, the lyrics came RIGHT into my head! Everything made sense now!

 

Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when, you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go, somewhere only we know
Somewhere only we know?

 

Do you see it?

"Oh simple thing, where have you gone?" which are like our parents. We're getting old...and we need something to rely on! So tell me when, you're gonna let me in which is like the heaven's gate and our religion, and the same goes for i'm getting tired. "And if you have a minute" is suggesting somewhere like just a day, every Sunday, "why dont we go talk about it somewhere only we know"....Which is talking about christianity in churches! So when death could be the end of everything, why not...believe in the place where we would go? Which is....like....heaven. oh my god...

 

heres the thing...i cant believe everything is making sense and is completely relevent to me.

1) i downloaded a movie for no godamn reason, really.

2) I found this song "somewhere only we know" by Keane in the movie "hes just not that into you" and i dont know why i downloaded the song

3) my grandma's passing

4) The new puppy and all the baby comfort thoughts

 

Everything, clicked AGAIN, and is telling me the SAME THING AGAIN. I swear this isnt the first time when everything coincidentally clicked together again, maybe you can call me an emo for watching such movies like "Knowing". But isnt the part of me choosing to watch this movie, a little too coincidental as well?

First?

I just suddenly have this thought...What will be my first organ to go malfuntioned?

 

Answer : My voice box

 

Simply because i sing too much, and i actually google the lyrics for 34.27% of the songs i downloaded, and actually sing along with the lines. Insane? AND, i dont want to be a singer at all. Lol nothing much, just a thought so i blogged it.