Susan Boyle

I bet there is no need for me to reintroduce Susan Boyle, "Global interest in Boyle was triggered by the contrast between her powerful voice and her plain appearance on stage" from wikipedia.com.

 

 

Check out the song Wild Horses (windows IE is recommended to view the windows media player, it should start automatically) embedded. I heard it, and loved it already.

Lester's Letter

Dear ___________ ,

 

      Hi, its been a while already huh i guess. Holidays been great, and xmas been fun as well. Had xmas eve dinner with friends and had some real fun with Band Hero, and also a fun time @ City Harvest Church near my monash campus, and also enjoyed the cozy family dinner with my extended family, at least untill the part where i overheard my aunt prompted the same old question to my sis. Shooked my head and gave a long sigh at the side there.

 

      Hey and guess what? i'm going to head down sg for the first time after a real long time. Gonna go there and countdown, and meet up with my secondary classmates which i really missed their company a lot. Feels like family sometimes, because i could just be myself for the 100% when i'm with them. Cross yer fingers i get to go for the Eye of Singapore ferris wheel ride tho. Was planning to go down to Night Safari, only to have my friend checked the site and one of the animals are pig. On top of that, the animals are hardly anymore fascinating than a zoo. Figured why spend the money in a Night Safari where my visions are blurred and handicapped, when i could juts go to the damn zoo since my purpose is all about seeing the creatures.

 

      Help at my dad's shop today, which is a Sunday. Got there at like 3pm or so, and was busy attending customers at least untill 5 or so. Then only to realized i havent had my lunch yet. Usual drill for my parents i guess, moneys are earned hard. Some of them pisses me though, like a phone call asking me are there any "test units" in the shop which i misheard as "cash units" and for the 3 times i requested for him to repeat his sentence, or explain what did he mean, he simply just say "test unit" again instead of attempting to paraphrase. Whats wrong with you people really? Isnt it obvious that i dont understand you? I make an effort to paraphrase all the time tho.

 

       Time is passing slowererererer as the days pass, but so far i've been really optimistic about it. What hangs on in my mind is "i should enjoy my holiday to the fullest, enjoys its leisure and the need to not do anything. And should have no regrets when comes the time where these things are long lost". For now i'm hearing a lot of people's regrets and believe it or not, i am actually noting the all of them down.

 

       Oh hey, and i think i really enjoy people's company sometimes. That includes just sitting down on a soft couch and just talk. Weird thing is i sometimes shut myself off people, don't exactly know the reason tho. Perhaps i was too accustomed to living alone, and i just suit all my time to myself and wouldnt have to bother about other at all.

 

       One thing, recently i have a lot of nightmares. All of them have got to do with a loose teeth, or getting my car damaged or scratched. Everytime i wake up of those dreams i felt really really horrible. Nontheless, i still felt very much secured when i dive into my nest with the comforter, pillow and bolster. Oh, and i swam the other day also, pushed to 14 laps the other day and 12 laps couple days ago. Shouldve remained at the 14 lap mark but procrasinated, damn! I really liked swimming, or should i say, i liked the water a lot. Did i also mention i used to stucked the water exit channel in my shower room with a bucket and let the water filled up my entire toilet a lot when i was a kid? Don't know where i got this liking from.

 

       I think thats all, hope you're doing great and havent heard from you a long time already.

 

P.S. I missed talking to you, and i think i missed you already.

 

 

                                                                                                     

                           Sincerely,

Lester

 

 

 

MoS

i'm actually downloding the Ministry of Sound annual 2009 and 2010 album (terrible me for commiting privacy O_O ). Unbelievable. Wonder how will they turn out to be in my mobile 4 wheeled music box a.k.a. my car.

 

 

I actually liked this song a lot, and it sounds badass with earphones and high bass.

Still

(Try using windows internet explorer instead to view this, firefox may encounter problems with viewing the windows media player and playing the song embeded)

Quiet isnt it? These days. I kinda started to like it...the quietness, the nothingness in the air. Its just myself and sometimes it feels just like the pic above, just stare at a big open area, and just feel...open. Inside these walls, echoes of my past nightmares will haunt me in resonance, and then finally an opening, a place to let out and vent out all the...feelings like hundreds of pillows pressed hard on your chest, couldnt let go. And then just stand there, looking at blankness at peace with yourself and put behind all the guilt you've came in bad terms with yourselfs, self-inflicting conflicts that would give you not one day of inner peace.

 

Be still....shhh.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shhh...its alright, Lester.

 

Of snails and human flesh

 

Dang what came to your mind when you see this pic?

 

"A creature of mother nature, O' god bless all the living beings on Earth"

 

"Disgusting piece of slimy things that could crawl on your very wall, and that blue disgusting secretion when you pour salt on it? urgh!"

 

Which is it? For me, it'd be "what vulnerable creature...hang on a sec, we humans are not any better honestly"

 

You've guessed it right! We're weak and vulnerable to many forms of injury. Look at all the amazing creatures dwell in the same planet as we do. Tough turtle shells that even a lion's teeth would have problem piercing through it; Or a shark's immunity system, so strong that it the probability of a shark getting cancer is almost near zero. And we human? A knife would leave us with an open wound and what came out?

 

Blood.

 

Scary isnt it? You'd think snails are the only creature with so much liquids inside their body, we're in fact not any better honestly. Nearly 60% of our body are consist of water. I think you get my point here, we're in fact very fragile creatures. Not to mention human childbirth is one of the many most difficult tasks around, due to the fact that we have brains so big that makes us so smart.

 

Just another thought today when i was swimming, i'd thought how it would be swimming side by side with a whale shark, or in a school of black marlin/swordfish. Saw it in discovery channel the other day, man actually video tapped in the open ocean with those swordfish swimming around him. Speaking of which, still it is my lifelong dream to withness a great white shark in the open sea ( and of course, behind bars in a cage ).

 

( On an entirely irrelevant side topic, i got locked in my own damn house this evening. I'd actually wanting to go out to get myself dinner, only to find that....all the damn keys have been taken by my parents and sister. Doesnt feel nice getting locked in tho honestly lol )

Shackles

Just had a game of Starcraft, and realises the enemy will not pull back their pursue...untill the last of my building burns in ashes.

 

So does my dad.

 

WHY do you have to pester me every single holiday? To work and what not. When i say this holiday is deserving for me because all the hardwork i've put in earned me this holiday, you told me "so you're going to sit in front of this machine for the entire holiday?". What and where is this coming from? Then when i said so what, i couldve just went for dish washing just to shut your damn mouth up, you said its as if you're forcing me into this.

 

Seriously, what?

 

Countless times have i told you that i cant just be taking any jobs for the sake of doing it, if then whats the point of working? Just an act to shut your mouth up? The good deal is that i get to have fucking salary, at the price of what? My happiness. My joy. My Soul. Years ago it took me great shame to fight my soul back and throw away all the glory, now you want my soul to get scarred again? Why are people in my family just cannot stand me being happy and what not? My sibling is another whenever i achiev good results.

 

Fuck it, really.

 

I am so sick of all these shits already. Do i look like an ingrate to you? Of all the luxury i have do i still whine, complain, asking for much much more? Because im telling you i really dont think so, you are the one not being grateful enough to bear a child like me!

 

Look at all the dumb fucks around who messes all day and not study.

Look at all the spoiled kids nowadays that cant do a single housework, let alone handling all the housekeeping matter at home.

Look at all the overly protected, overly dependant kids who cant take care of themselves and handle their own matter. E.g. Travelling independantly.

Look at all the critters childrens who lived an unhealthy lifestyles. Smoking, drinking, car racing and noisy car exhaust pipes.

 

At an age of 20 you're still very much treating me like a primary school kid, not understanding the fact that given one container can only fit so many things, and given the presence of a type of object in the cointainer, the other type must be ejected. "One more thing, one less thing", you're being...*inhale*

 

FUCKING greedy. I tell you what now, i'll just REFUSE to work now. You should get a taste of what other type of kids have got to "offer" you, because i tried communicating to you, and i see the utter complete fultility now.

Nothing

Sometimes, during the busiest days of my life, or in any dire shit situation that i've got myself into, i really just feel like dumping everything behind, pack my bags and head to places as such.

 

 

and just sit down there, think of nothing and do nothing. Clear my mind off a while, and feel the insignificance of myself in this planet Earth. Thats why occasional holidays with moderate durations are good for our souls. ( "What about 3 months holidays then?!" ---- "Its still all good for me =D" )

Doesn't mean anything

Holiday is good, only bad thing is the rain stopped. Some ppl are clusterphobic, but i guess i'm a little clusterphillic. I like confined small spaces, feels safe. During rainy days i would occasionally look out when i leave my always addictive computer for a drink. Feels cozy really.

 

So this holiday nothing much, i went up Genting Highland with a bunch of friends. Seems like it really doesnt matter where we go, its really who is going haha. Arrived the lastest to the bus station, 7 of them are alrdy there waiting. Up the bus we go, and not even 500metres and it broke down already. Oh wells, the replacement bus came right after that and we headed for the skyway. Headed for Resort Hotel and ken's aunt is a real nice lady, got us our rooms. The insane 4 are grouped in one room, and the sane 4 are grouped in another. First day didnt do much, only thing i remembered is Whiskey/Coke mixer and then a sleepless night.

 

Next, first thing off is breakfast at resort buffet, followed by bombing in Nagasaki (the insanne room) and Hiroshima (the sane one). First thing we took in outdoor is Cockscrew. Or whatever the spelling is, it sounded wrong tho haha. On the side note, the vehicles are brand new ones, and i'd thought i would throw up after the ride but i didnt. I'm lester, i'm good. Then we went for the kiddy tea cup. Mark tried to spin the cup and had me vomit, then again he was the one who had to go back to his room and vomit. I'm lester, i'm good. ( in your face mark! )

 

Tian went back also, and i think both mark and him had planned this all along. Sheez lol. But the rest of us went around...antique cars, dinosaur land, bumper car, motion master and an immediate detour upon seeing the sign "45min queue from this point onwards" in the badly air ventilated room. Then couple of us went back room, jiayean mark and i. Halfway the other of them detached from us ( they actually went for ferris wheel ) while i rushed back to my room and dived in my cozy blanket. After some rest we washed up, and headed for Coffee Terace. Before that i would like to extend my thanks to sean for his awesome HeadnShoulder conditioner shampoo. Wow feels gd sia my hair haha. And we get to dined in at the awesome restaurant which...your eyes could hardly finishing feasting on all the food there with one big glance, let alone stuffing all the food down your stomach.

 

Had a walk in the misty night, then more whiskey and lots of talk. And then the last day and so on and so forth~i'm getting lazy to blog, things arent mean to be listed down so much.

 

We're suppose to keep memories only in our mind, and only the BESTEST memories. I'd do that, because that way i know i could look foward, without worrying or having to look back because i know, the past is not filled with uncertainties like the future holds, it already have fulfilled promises, and gives me a kind of feeling - i was complete.

 

2009 is a good year for me really. I seriously did not hated this year nor the environment, even if i had, its for a brief moment due to occasional shits. I like my freedom and all now, and actually wanted to prolong my present to forever. But oh wells, some things dont last, most of them in fact, and stop patronizing me tho really, i'm fully aware of the fact that people move on and such, so whenever i said "i wish things could stay the way they are now", im not asking you for your hell-you-think-you're-wiser advices, a simple "hmm" or silence will just do really.

 

...i wish things could stay the way they are now...

really. I <3 you all.

 

 

500 Days of Summer

 

This is not a love story, this is a story about boy meets girls. Almost as equally quoted in the movie. Its a very sentimental movie, about how love should all about fate and coincidences...

 

...but i guess, without the coincidences we wouldnt have had the opportunity to make a choice, so in order for us to be in a position to decide between two options, doesnt that require a coincidence all the time?

 

"If tom had learned anything

it was that you cant ascribe great cosmic significance

to a simple earthly event.

 

Coincidence,

Thats all anything ever is,

nothing more than coincidence."

 

A sentimental movie, the kind which i kind of like to watch it alone, or rather an environment which i could be left undisturbed. I don't know, this movie put a smile on my face...cant exactly explain why.

My keeper

Watched the movie My Sister's Keeper, a pretty sentimental movie with lots of drama. Although i must say i'm pretty surprised that Cameron Diaz would pick up such a role in such a movie, an overprotective mother of her own dying child. Suffering from cancer, Kate decides to liberate her little sister Anna of role of being a "donor-child", which was what happened early in the movie when Anna filed a sue against her parents and wanted to be medically emancipated.

 

Pretty good movie, worth a watch. Unless you're really not into drama and such, you may find the numerous flashbacks occured in the minds of the various characters in the movie boring. Otherwise, its a pretty touching one. =D

 

thats all folks! and my exams are drawing near. Hey, i shd be studying right? lol

Home or not

Just had a conversation with my mom, and i cant shake the feeling off that i actually wanted to tell her

 

"Just go away and leave me alone already"

 

for the entire course of the conversation. Then i recalled seeing my friend kissed his mom every morning before leaving his house. Also friends who prefer to stay home most of the time rather than going out, dining with their families everyday, so then i could already draw a clear distinction between myself and people like them.

 

Its different, our lifestyles. I had dinner outside alone all the time. I came back home 8-9pm+ and still find house's in darkness and empty most of the time. I dont talk to my parents much, am always in this isolated world of mines.

 

I have too much of something called independence. Can you see the negativity in it now?

 

 

 

Anybody there?

Yes you can imagine me having a duster in my hands now and trying clear off all these dusts off my long deserted blog. Oh wait look, there are even spider webs! And also some LingZhi mushroom, maybe i should give Yu Ren Sheng a call to come harvest those valuable mushroooms.

 

Life's been treating me well these time, planning Pangkor trip so cross yer fingers it'll turn out to be an absolute success.

 

Nothing interesting seriosuly, no news means good news. Like i said, life's been treating me well so i dont have much time to emo here lol. Maybe i should blog about something cheerful and interesting some time. And again, like i said, "some time" haha.

 

Laters all =D

Hong Kong

Yeah i'm suppose to blog something about my trip to HongKong but i've been lazy to do so because theres just so many things to be put into words. So screw it for nwo, i'll do it when i have the mood to do it.

 

12.31am and my heart beat an extra time for the same interval.

Couple of things

Just a quick couple fo things recently,

 

# The haze is so bad for the past few days. i could literally SMELL it in the air the very moment i wake up in my room. Terribad.

 

# its raining for the past few days! Good thing to rid the air off those terrble haze

 

# My newspaper bridge suceeded! Despite the fact that i've been working in a 2man group only, and the bridge weighed 0.8-0.9kg and had ~5mm deflection. It made some scary sound as we suspended the 20kg load, and we were terrified to the point that we didnt start the timer. Silly us, even the tutor had to raised her voice to remind us of that. Made it, and when we decided to add another 10kg load, it fell apart right away, not to mention nearly half of the members broke apart.

 

# Computing MATLAB is so tedious and hard! Even with my friend's reference in front, it still toke me a full 1hour+ to understand it.

 

# Electric quiz is so hard as well!!

 

# I got 7/8 marks for my Electrical Eng mid-term test! So all its not all that bad when come in terms with all my past failures haha.

 

# I stayed back untill 8pm+ for my bridge project and dinner for 2 days and pretty late for couple of days as well. Man it was tiring but worth the stay.

 

# 2 of my RL friends is picking up the game World of Warcraft. Totally surprised me.

 

# Just watched The Ugly Truth. Pretty hillarious movie.

 

# I'm feeling hungry now so i'm off to eat something and thats it for today's entry =D

Fallin for YOU

Came by this song today, check out the lyrics. Play it using my window media player ( IE only and not firefox), otherwise you could get from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7qtLrQVUFQ

 

Colbie Caillat - Fallin For You 

I don’t know but I think I maybe fallin’ for you
Dropping so quickly, maybe I should
Keep this to myself, waiting ’til I know you better

I am trying, not to tell you
But I want to
I’m scared of what you’ll say
So I’m hiding what I’m feeling
But I’m tired of
Holding this inside my head

I’ve been spending all my time

 Just thinking about ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’ve been waiting all my life
And now I found ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’m fallin’ for you

As I’m standing here, and you hold my hand
Pull me towards you, and we start to dance
All around us, I see nobody, here in silence
It’s just you and me

I’m trying
Not to tell you
But I want to
I’m scared of what you’ll say
So I’m hiding what I’m feeling
But I’m tired of
Holding this inside my head

I’ve been spending all my time
Just thinking about ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’ve been waiting all my life
and now I found ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’m fallin’ for you

Oh I just can’t take it
My heart is racing
The emotions keep spinning out

I can’t stop thinking about it
I want you all around me
And now I just can’t hide it
I think I’m fallin’ for you

I’m fallin’ for you

Ooohhh
Oh no no
Oooooohhh
Oh I’m fallin’ for you

Up

Watched the movie Up today, i've got to say its a movie definitely worth watching!

 

The front parts, it doesnt require much talking at all and sights alone would tell you enough, enough to bring you to tears even! There is one part where he was flipping over his old photo album, and his late wife wrote "Thanks for the adventure now go have one of your own" totally made me sob for it. Definitely worth shedding a tear or two for it. Its simply so touching.

 

Enough said, you should just watch it yourself.

 

In addition to that, i bought a new shirt recently and the words are actually peeling off. So i actually sat down and iron the words and peel it out ONE by ONE! Toke me one hour but i totally rescued the shirt. I kinda like it as well.

 

And last its Ken's birthday today, so i was driving to campus today and entering the parking, i found out that the queue was so long! The usual me would sigh in dissapointment "Kids...they'd never find another place to park". So i started driving foward while calling Jin whether he'd want t pick up the cake first or not. While i was doing that i inevitably got myself into the main road, and unable to make the U-Turn at the far right lane ( while i was 3 lanes from the far right) i made a left turn...

 

and ended up in Kesas highway. Dang. Passed 2 tolls to get back to Bandar Sunway. What an expensive trip haha just to get the cake delivered. Nonetheless it was awesome, everyone had a good day so...yeah. Thats all about it today.

 

 

 

 

Mean people are mean

Been a while since i last blogged about real life happenings, and now heres a shit tons of them.

 

- First -

 

Drivers alert! For your information, you, yes you. The far right lanes on the highways are for FAST and SHAMELESS drivers. Another is that if the ratio of the available space behind you is smaller than your front ones, it means you should move to a slower lanes, one is of course the fact that you are really driving that slow, another is that the driver behind must be tailgating you so for your own safety, just let him overtake you.

 

Traffic Jams! Its not about giving a HARD BRAKE and slowly accelerate to cover up the gaps. That will ultimately cause traffic jams! You decelerate at a steady rate and eventually stop if neccessary, or keep moving even at a slow pace to keep the traffic behind moving.

 

Another thing is to keep the lanes you'll be taking early, do not do sharp turns in the middle of the road at the very last minute, you'll cause the car to brake and eventually cause traffic jams!

 

- Second -

 

The whole of this week has been crazily packed with assignments and project due dates! Thrusday night i rushed untill 2am or so, toke a nap till 5am and continue my powerpoint slides. I ended up with a sickening stomach and was already feeling like vomitting. Not to mention the past 3 days i had been sleeping at like 10.30pm or so, and didnt get to play a single bit of WoW at all. Amazing.

 

- Third -

Its a very bad day today for Friday. On top of my stomach feeling unwell, i have to rushed and finish my slides at last minute and present with a starving stomach. After which i'm completely worn out and still went Chemistry Tutorial. Who wouldve have the mood to do work after a whole long week of stress and this particular tutorials have no whatsoever assesment. The usual talkative me went chit-chatting and guess what? Our tutor called us to do one of the questions. Thats fine, if thats how you want to embarass me in front of the class. Here comes the worse part.

 

He actually called our lecturer, and purposely made today's exercizes a graded assesment AFTER assigned the questions to my friend and I. Come on, with all due respect my dear tutor, you just base your personal feelings into academic grading. Its inevitable in many cases due to dilemna, but this? You already have the malice intention to ground us right from the begining because we talked? And he went complaining about how he's not earning a salary and what not, and his extra effort paid into making this tutorial a resourceful one is not getting anything in return. What do you have to complain about seriously? If you're so sentimental and calculative about your effort and your 0 salary, quit the job. Stop getting your riled emotions into a student's academic downfall. You're like a crybaby seeking revenge honestly.

 

Now the worst. He told me friend afterwards it is not actually a graded assesment. Are you playing Jedi Mindtricks on us? If i hadnt mention a lot of students already hating you to the core for your overly strict grading for the reports, and i've seen you correcting grammar in a chemistry report. For serveral times already. "...the following measurements is taken into account for the...." and you'd actually notice the "is" and have it circled and correct it with "are". I'm sorry, although you're still my tutor and i'll still do the tutorial / reports properly, but i've lost complete respect for you.

 

Of which i want to just mention a teacher in my past, Mrs Lee. My sec4 class teacher, and i'd dare to say i've never had so much respect for a teacher ever untill her. I still remember fontly one of the phrase she mentioned, it goes along the line of "A wise old owl on the tree. The more quiet it is, the more it hears. The more it hears, the more it learns.". The two of you are definitely on two opposite side of my Respect-O-Compas. Enough of him, totally ruined my day.

 

- Fourth -

Went into Electrical Laboratory sessions after chemistry tut. If its not any worse, the whole lab is packed with twice the load of students due to the fact that Monday was a holidya and their replacement is in the same slot same time with ours.

 

Thats fine.

 

We're forced around to find an oscillascope to use.

 

Thats fine.

 

We ran into a more complicated, more high-tech oscillascope. We're completely clueless on how to operate it although they look generally similar on the outside. All we are trying to ask is how to get the waveform generated because no matter what buttons we push, we couldnt get the wave to appear on the meter. So we seeked the attention of the replacement class's tutor for help. He came over, and started telling us about how if this is a working environment, we wouldve be in serious problems because we couldnt ADAPT. Again and again whenever we're really stucked with a problem and we've spent over 10+ minutes just trying to solve a minor problem, he came over and patronized us like there is no tomorrow. I swear, he really did patronize us that BADLY.

 

What is WRONG with all these peoples? After which when the replacement class and their tutor left, we're left behind with ourselves and our beloved Mr. Lee for the lab. The all of us love you Mr. Lee. Your tutorial classes and labs rocks. Speaking of which, i'd really prefer my Lab Demonstrator, Ms Yeoh more than any other lab demo, and for your info, your new hair colour is nice!

 

- Fifth -

 

My friend actually commented our male chemistry lecturer is very much like a womaniser, and that most girls would drool...i mean smile when having eye contact with him. I dare not look into his eyes at all, gives me the creeps and the wrong signals.

 

- Sixth -

 

LesGuoNelle is indeed still around. We still have that one wavelength that sometimes others cant pick up, of which i'd thought its long lost lol. Just how Jan told the other 2 of us about the electrifying "zap zap" thing, we laughed out REALLY loud like no one's business in the cafeteria, until the point that even someone from the beverage booth would hear us.

 

That is all, another entry into my blog and still writing!

Because words cannot be taken back

What a stressful week! But i believe i can make it through and will see the light after all these hardship, like i remember i saw somewhere saying "no matter how dark the night, morning always come".

 

They do. Miracles do happen.

 

Just a minute ago YewJin asked me to buy cake for Ken's birthday on Tuesday. You know you just dip my heart into a beaker full of 5M of concentrated HCl solution? Jealous. I've never once have a birthday party where i dont have to worry about. Thats what you get for having a constantly shifting environment, and friends never stay long. They always stay for one year, and then leave and i'll have to start all over again.

 

Happened in Form 1.

Then Form 2.

Then end of O level.

Then 3 months in AC Junior College.

Then 6 months in Nanyang JC.

Then 1 year in Ausmat.

Then its coming again after year 1 of Engineering since we'll be streaming into different courses.

 

Funny how everytime i mention that people are not staying long they'd find it no big a deal. Thats what i get for having a pasttime of mines different than most people. Anyways, suddenly the idea of time machine pops out in my head, and i'd think what would i do with that.

 

I guess right now i only have 2 things in mind, firstly is to reverse back into time and take back what i tell to one of my friend. We're near strangers now and there has been a lot of misunderstanding. I'm not even sure what is going on.

 

Second is to...I just changed my mind. I guess i'll just stick to that one move. That is the painful part, that my mind is constantly changing its mind depending on every small details that occured, and its pretty tiring. Honestly, its not like there hasnt been enough stuff going in my head already.

 

...because words cannot be taken back, and no deeper regrets can take you back in time.

 

Sometimes you just wish that human are loveless vessels. Thats all, back to reality and rushing for my Structures Project Slides.

Shower

Well i didnt get that but i'm pretty sure the land my home sits on did. 

 

Weather's kinda nice and moody as well, brings back some memories. Also reminded me of myself last year, and i'm exactly on the same situation now and comitting the exact same mistakes again. Can't help it sometimes, humans are not flawless.

 

So yeah, a little sloppy tonight. Should probably catch an early rest and clear my brain off those miseries. Laters all.

Left here to bleed

Finally i watched movie / spent money untill the point where i have to declare Ramadan for myself for entertainments as well - a time to fast from movies and overspending my money. Went movie the other with my bestest hannah-montanah-rangers, and then headed to Jan's house with Sean there for steamboat. Then followed by a lot of chatting and "patching". Gamers would probably get what i said.

 

And here am i studying for structures, last min revision for tomorrow's exam.

 

Something's coming and something's missing; and something felt like a forever as well.

 

Ordinary days really, except the fact that we're really behind time for our structure project. Oh and i went shopping the other, got myself a grey jeans and a grey shirt and a white t-shirt. Cool beans. Although i probably need to make a trip back because when i'm trying my new jeans in their fitting room, all i did was check for my waist and completely forgotten about the length of my jeans, which is too long and need to make some amendments to shorten it so i wont have to fold it twice everytime i wear it.

 

This morning while waiting for my friend to come pick me up, i was watching Discovery Channel and they were talking about pheromones etc.

 

 

Well i guess the conversation suggests a lot of pheromones, its something running on our body and its one kind of scent that attracts a certain people, and that could poosibly be the major factor for all the "love" going around, putting it at layman's term, our genes are responsible for love. So i'm just curious, are lesbians and gays...peoples with their smell receptor mixed up and hence their different sexual orientation? If so would gene therapy provide a solution, or rather a pathway to readjusting their sexual orientation? Interesting topic thats worth putting a brief thought into it.

 

Figures.

New Soul

Our souls do get worn out due to all the workload and stress, so sometimes it needs to breathe.

 

Its just that at some point of time during your education life you will have everything clogged up like a pipe, and you just seem to be unable to carry foward with your life. That is what exactly happening to me right now.

 

Chemistry Lab Report.

Chemistry Tutorial.

Structures Project.

Electric Lab.

Structure Tutorial.

Structure Test next week.

 

But hey, you just need to sit down and defragment all your workloads, and then the pipe will just naturally unclog itself. Either that or let time do the trick. So yeah i think i shouldnt stain my soul with too much agony and stress, and rather embrace life and take this hectic schedule as a challenge.

 

Its all going to get well pretty soon, i can get my chem report done tomorrow. Tutorial during second break or during lecture. Structure project is fine, we just need to sort out the buckling/yield test only. Test is fine so long i finish this and last week's tutorial this weekend. Electric lab is fine too! Because everyone i knew and everyone they knew couldnt finish the lab either, so i shouldnt be so worried if i cant! And then i can look foward to this Sat for movies!

 

And lastly,

 

I would really like to freeze my time right here. because everything is just near perfection for me now.

Love + Hate Rojak

Seriously, sometimes you'll bump into a situation where you dont know whether to hate or thank a friend. Usual bitchy and demanding me called Guo and asked him to email me the soft copies of tutorials from the campus computer ( which i could've done it today when i have the time? lol ) and he sorta walked back into library and did it for me, and sent me this

 

 

 

with that middle finger as title. Really made me smiled and shook my head at the same time. Its ok, you're still and ass LOL.

A different kind of pain

So i was bored, and i heppened to check out my friend's note that has me tag. The typical quiz thing about self-discovery through a series of questions. Link's  http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx. So i did and series of answer came out, one that i have to agree is the followed one

 

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

 

Which is like BAM, wow to a moderate extend it says about me ( although those answers are fashioned to be very generic, like horoscopes and hence readers always find it applicable to them ). And i figured out maybe thats why i always have my calender with me, to keep track of things. Anyways, i saw an advertisement in the cinema, and its pretty damn hillarious and good.

 

 

Enjoy!

Feeling cottons

Today is a day that i'm feeling like i'm stuffed with cottons. Heart's feeling are so puffy and fluffy. Had too many feelings intertwine with each other that untill one point of time i couldnt even think straight at all. And then i went "pms-ing" a little because of that and then felt guilty for all the friends who caught in the mild-wildfire. "Is it too late to say, i'm sorry, to you?" i really wonder.

 

Maybe i'm oversensitive, which i am. And maybe i should just stop overthinking.

extra-ordinary

A life of the ordinary or one of the extraordinary? Sometimes its hard to make that one choice and both side seems to have grass of equivalent goodness. My dad pointed out something, something along the line like sometimes you wished you were more ordinary and less famous, every step you toke out from your very doorstep is a danger lurking somewhere. Well anyways just a diary of various happenings.

 

Watched The Proposal with the Hannah-Montanah-Rangers + Jin. Sadly we were a little late and we refused to get the upmost front seat, so we got two sets of couple seats, in the non-couple seats column.

 

Got a weird "Bye!!!" sms from Jia Hao, a recently reunited primary sch classmate, and toke me a full couple of minutes to realized hes texting that to me because hes leaving to Aus simply because classes are resuming.

 

Met a bunch of few other primary classmates which hadnt seen them for a straight 8 years. One at MidValley and another a steak house near kepong. We all agreed it was Facebook who brought us back together.

 

Became the laboratory-rat for our Electric quiz, sacrificed 2 of my attempts. However i got a full 100% eventually all because of the magical sheet of paper they'd called answer. Its circulating around engineering students like a freaking Monash leaflet. /shrugs

 

Went Jan's house with Sean and Guo because we have a 4 hour break ( damn the chem lecture replacement ). Only to find out that of all 3 com, none of them have L4D.

 

Failed to get a G.I.Joe movie gang going this week, and found out Guo had a bad cough, Jin and TianHui to somewhat fell ill a little. On top of that, another email from Monash alerting that someone been CONFIRMED to be contracted with H1N1 virus on 7th August. Geez!

 

Didnt swim for one week, and already feeling the tummy.

 

Installed L4D in my computer, was somewhat afraid to play alone. Another is that the fact that i think the game is "unclean", hence it occasionally & randomly boots me out of the game or simply not responding.

 

Was going to photocopied my friend's Chemistry lecture notes, but procrasination and forgetfulness toke control of me. What to do~ guess i'll just pass it back to him tomorrow lol.

 

Finally got the movie X-Men Origins - Wolverine downloaded. Somewhat didnt have that interest to watch it yet, perhaps i remembered the movie in such detail that i could rewatched it base on my memory?

 

Blogging now and staring at the vacuum cleaner machine. Its my monthly routine to vacuum the entire house twice. Also the cloths hanging outside that are suppose to be collected in and be folded. Hmm, lets give it another 10min then only i'll get my ass moving. Lol lazy me.

 

So ever lazy to install my printer, its almost a month since i last reformatted my computer and still, printer is a pain in the ass to be installed/configured/updated so my driver wont keep alerting me with error messages.

 

Made a promise to myself that i must get the swimming ID done next week, so guilt and insecurity would not haunt me whenever i visit the Sun-U residence swimming pool and trepass with my already-one-year-expired swimming ID card.

 

Just turned back and close the glass door of my book closet. Just cant stand untidiness sometimes.

 

Thinking of the poosibility of me missing out anything interesting that should be blogged about now.

 

Guess not. Alrighty, thats it and thats all =D

 

Cold Snap

Heroes Season 3 - DONE! Wootz its been very entertaining watching the HEROES series, and i swear of ALL abilites that have been demonstrated by the characters inside the series, whether by good or malicious intention, this one has got to be the coolest one

 

  

 

And, off all the characters, Angela Petrelli has got to be my favourite actress/actor. She totally pulled off the many roles that was expected, and she did it with such brilliance. Be it a kinda mother, to a selfish company woman, or a confused lost person with all her guilts haunting her, or a helpless woman that was running for her life, she totally managed it.

 

 

 

You have my salutations!

Socks

So i've been very VERY addicted to the TV series HEROES untill the point that i can could watch 8+ episods a day. Yes it s very nice movie, and you'd probably wondering why am i had the title as "Socks" rather than "Heroes".

 

Well if those of you watched it, somewhere during the firts episod, Mrs Petrelli, mother of Peter and Nathan had both of them called to the police station because she stole socks. I was probably feeling the way the author wants me to feel, that she is an attention seeking woman with all the dark secrets behind her back. Oh wells, as i journey through the entire season 1 and 2 and finally reaching the end of season 3, during episod 23, she finally met her younger sister Alice.

 

Just for your info she used to be a big sister to her little one, and she always take care of her, her clothings etc. Once they were moved to a camp where people with special abilities were experimented, and that very one night where she sneaked out and left her sister behind, something awful happened and everyone was thought to be dead. That very moment where she and her younger sister reunited, and she said,

 

"Its time to go home. I Have socks for you.

Since that night, whenever i feel lost, whenever i dont know what to do.

I steal socks...

...for you.

To remind myself there are simple ways to protect the ones we love"

 

Which is so damn touching...if only you watch the entire episod 23 to get the idea. That was probably the MOST touching thing i've ever heard in the entire HEROES TV series. I'm getting more hooked with this series, because i'd thought most would eventually get dull, which turn out pretty true for many other series, but NOT THIS! Its just got better!

 

Alright yeah i think i should calm my enthusiasm and excitement down lol, because its getting late and i need to catch some sleep. Funny thing is my friend Giant missed 2 last episods of the season, but i could  __________, which i'll leave it to you to fill in the blanks =P, so no big deal haha. Candy dreams then y'all!

Compass

Yes the compass does point north all the time, but do you realize, it points south all the time as well?

 

When things turn bad, do we usually look back? Just a thought.

 

Soft Toys

I think i am just like a soft toy, just that i'm not stuffed with cottons.

 

I'm stuffed with anger and jealously all the time. Always asking "Why" to things i dont have, and to my own weaknesses.

I'm stuffed with insecurities, untill the point i sleep with myself cuddled up all the time and i have a high tendency to keep things tidy, and i will be very restless untill they are so, because by then would i feel safe by having everything under my control.

I'm stuffed with all my nightmares and bad memories, like a casette rewinding and repeating the same secenes again and again.

I'm stuffed with an attitude of mines which i don't quite understand where i got it from, but i get extremely worked up and mad everytime someone tries to take something i earned myself, that include even a char siew pao.

I'm stuffed with oversensitivity, that everytime people react in a way i tend to think i did something wrong all the time.

I'm stuffed with pessimism, not academic-wise, and tends to find myself ugly all the time.

I'm stuffed without a heart, i have never, or even if i had, i'd probably forgotten about how Love is.

 

This is Lester, on another chapter on himself.

School resumes!

Like i said, Uni resumes! All i can say nothing feels better than going back to the same Uni, lectures with all the familar faces and friends. =D

 

 

Eat those maggots you faggots!

So what happens if you wake up one morning, and found out your downstairs study room has maggots all over the floor? They could be falling from the sky and is still falling on your head! Its horrible! To have maggots in your house! Question is, where do they come from? Its the roof outside my room. YUCKness seriously, one dead rat laid opened like the ones you disected in the laboratory. Horrible smell as well.

 

Thats actually a bigger deal to talk about, but i'm really not in the mood for that so i'm onto faggots now.

 

My semester 2 timetable will be opened for Adjustment Mode tomorrow @ 10am. Anxious and excited am i, due to the fact i have absolutely nothing else to get excited for this holiday ( yes its that boring ), i get worriesome over some other things as well. I was wondering should i get my usual friend, Jan and Guo back on the exact same timetable again. Partly because i screwed one of the field project a little and am feeling guilty that i literally dragged Jan down, and Guo partially. So i was thinking should i get the same timetable with them again, or just screw it and let fate decide and i go according to what i would plan for myself?

 

Then i thought again, what would happen if i ever have to go every single tutorial class alone etc. The question "Do i need them?" keep popping over my head. Are friends really that important to the extend i can forgo my lifestyles and aims? Somehow, thats the feeling that went along with me to Singapore. I aint dont need too many friends, i have my aims and i should head straight for it. Friends should never be a stepping stone etc.

 

And i lied to myself that im not alone for 4 years?

 

Kintergarden was never a place for serious friendship, and primary school arent exactly filled with people that knows how to keep in contact with each other. I went SMK Taman Ehsan for one year, transferred to SMK Taman Bukit Maluri the next. The foundation of friendship are not even close to solid, and then it crumples and i move on to another construction. Then Singapore. Most of my buddies are kinda there from secondary school. I was happy and fun for some time. believe it or not i'd stuck to my sgporeans classmates way more than my hostelmates which are mostly scholars. Then i came back, did college and most of the closed ones went Australia. So i came Monash next, and suddenly i felt...

 

...I have no where to fall back on. Because i only have you guys, in the present.

 

I always see people celebrating birthdays with their past secondary schoolmates. Hanging out on a weekly basis with them. Birthday is one thing that i'd never really like. And those pictures of someone, sitting in front of a birthday cake, taking a group photo with a gang of friends, is something that really dampens my spirit for the day. I'm so jealous of those honestly. I think again and again, of the details of my pasttime and what couldve led to the "me" today. All i could say, again, is that world's fair. I've gained something, and lost something.

 

If this is what i have traded for the unique teenagehood ( getting the scholarship, going sg and what not ) i had experienced....

 

...I take it.

Blog

So blog is a lot about my life, what if there is nothing to blog about my life? maybe there is, yeah. its been really boring. And there has been too many things going through my head...i feel like yelling and getting those noises to stfu.

 

Its all bitter memories, have i not possess any good ones?

Chasing and Running.

Life is about chasing things. Chasing your dreams, chasing your wants, chasing your girlfriend. Its also about running away from things. Running away from reality, running away from fears, and running away from what makes you...stop chasing what you're chasing.

 

Often we chase things like a tiger. Beautiful sentiments that we thought it would define who we are, materials that would only give you only a brief moment of joy and satisfaction. Many times the tiger would stop and turn around, and both you and the tiger would pause for a minute. That very instance, then you would realized what terror and horror is installed in the thing you are always chasing.

 

You ran.

 

That was of course the better scenario, worst would be you having caught the tiger and the both of you fell off the cliff.

 

Do we want that?

Do you want that?

Do I want that?

 

I was often told, and taught to do self-reflection a lot during my secondary school years, and i have to thank the teachers actually for giving me a good moral upbringing, although some of the teachers prove to be a bitch sometimes haha. I usually dont pay attention to what teachers say usually, but some lessons theyre tying to conduct in a midst of chaos in the class, sometimes my radar would just pick them up and store them down in my un-overideable hardrive.

 

We were babies in a sea of toys, and we still are. So sometimes i guess its good to think about what we really want in life. But how else can we think straight when we are in a sea of toys with temptations reaching out to you and sticking onto you like black tar? Holidays. Or rather a period time when you are relieved of all these fucking toys. So this is a good time to reflect, whether do we really want that tiger, or not?

 

So let the tiger run. Let something you've grasped too hard in your life...off your hand. "You can be mad as a mad dog, but when the time's up, you have to let go." Quoted from the movie Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons, or maybe something along that line. So sometimes i guess we just have to let something go, and let out that sigh of relief.

 

We have only ten fingers, two hands, one mind.

How else can we hold on to more things, if we dont let some go?

Kids

Yeah apparently a lot of people are still behaving like one, and still calling others kids. Funny and ironic isnt it?

 

You know whats the most annoying part of this holiday? is to get you guys out for some outing etc. Seriously you all allergic to the outside world or what? Everytime i ask the all of you out, either

 

- No reply

- Taking 5 business days to get parents approval

- Numerous restrictions

- Not feeling very fun

- Pushing the responsibility to plan something and i'd always end up doing the job

- Making a shit tons of complaints about the current event and how boring it is, suggest something way too good and then get someone else to plan it.

- Acting bossy and not enthusiatic about it at all

 

Worst, did not reply and rejected with abundance of lame excuses, and come right back telling me i'm the one whos been saying no to everything and rejecting him. I beg your pardon? Honestly i have no idea why are you people like this, am i too fun or what? No plans or whatsoever for 2 weeks of holiday and still no one is planning anything. You guys can really sit at home play computer games huh? Because i can too, and usually i get sick of it and get my ass out to plan something, only to bump into the same bullshits again.

 

Very very frustrating. I'm serious. You know the well known "no life" phrase? I think its really an honour for you to receive that title.

WoW

WoW, its getting older. Time to look for a new game perhaps.

 

One week into holiday, 2 weeks left. Think think think of something to do. Was thinking of going down Singapore and really wanted to try flying to Bali alone and meeting with my Indonesian friends, all but in vain now due to the fact that H1N1 is in the very atmosphere we're in now and probably jeering at us weak homosapiens.

 

GG!

Knowing

I just watched the movie "Knowing", and i have really nothing to say. The scenes with people falling apart from the gruesome death...I dont know how to describe that feeling...I havent felt that for a long time, or rather...never had.

 

I was literally left speechless the entire time, i just couldnt breathe and my body just froze there watching the scenes. The screams are just petrifying. I think the moments when you are alone are the most frightening. So my thoughts were why exactly people are afraid of death? My personal thoughts are simply because they were scared to move on alone, they have no idea where they're heading.

 

Given you blindfolded, and left all alone, you would of course tremble in fear. However when given a hand where you could hold on to, or someone you could just hug towards to, you would of course feel safe. I know my blog is not exactly the kind of readeable ones, because i have so many thoughts going through my mind all the time, and i just have a feeling i should just get them written down somewhere before i forgot. Another thing is, dont you feel like you have voices over your head trying to tell you something or prove you something? Funny because i have so many things happened in my life before, somehow after a while they start to make a lot of sense why is it happening to me. Check out the lyrics of this song i've embeded in my blog titled "Somewhere only we know"

 

Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when, you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go, somewhere only we know
Somewhere only we know?

 

This is more than just coincidence i think. I was thinking about that phrase i mentioned earlier, about you being alone and such. My followed thoughts were, isnt that how we behaved when we were kids? We'd always look for a shelter and a sense of security and safety, and that usually come from our parents. A simple hug and babies would usually calm down, and that happened exactly to my sis's bf's newly bought puppy. It'd just settle down when its very near to you, like how my sis would hugged and tucked it near to her body. So kids werent all that afraid already isnt it? With their parents around all the time and they'd know they'll never be alone.

 

But what comes next when the hourglass takes a turn and the sand, just like time is running out?

 

You suddenly realised you were kinda alone isnt it? Some were brave enough to leave perhaps, some were comforted and embark on their next journey just like how your loved ones would send you off at the airport. The rest? They have faith in religions. They know there is someone taking the next path like my grandmother would do.

 

She had a strong belief in chritianity, and she just passed away less than 2 weeks ago. So she wasnt all that afraid of death, and she would probably be in the glory of the heavens now. For the rest of the people who were afraid, that is when they started thinking of their loved ones, and maybe probably their parents and where were all the comfort they used to shower on them? Just like the old days?

 

AND

 

this is the creepy part. Just now when i was thinking how to properly phrase my thoughts into paragraphs, untill the part "just like the old days?", i was resting my head on my hand which were supporting my heavy head, and just when i sorta regained consciousness of my surrounding, the lyrics came RIGHT into my head! Everything made sense now!

 

Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when, you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go, somewhere only we know
Somewhere only we know?

 

Do you see it?

"Oh simple thing, where have you gone?" which are like our parents. We're getting old...and we need something to rely on! So tell me when, you're gonna let me in which is like the heaven's gate and our religion, and the same goes for i'm getting tired. "And if you have a minute" is suggesting somewhere like just a day, every Sunday, "why dont we go talk about it somewhere only we know"....Which is talking about christianity in churches! So when death could be the end of everything, why not...believe in the place where we would go? Which is....like....heaven. oh my god...

 

heres the thing...i cant believe everything is making sense and is completely relevent to me.

1) i downloaded a movie for no godamn reason, really.

2) I found this song "somewhere only we know" by Keane in the movie "hes just not that into you" and i dont know why i downloaded the song

3) my grandma's passing

4) The new puppy and all the baby comfort thoughts

 

Everything, clicked AGAIN, and is telling me the SAME THING AGAIN. I swear this isnt the first time when everything coincidentally clicked together again, maybe you can call me an emo for watching such movies like "Knowing". But isnt the part of me choosing to watch this movie, a little too coincidental as well?

First?

I just suddenly have this thought...What will be my first organ to go malfuntioned?

 

Answer : My voice box

 

Simply because i sing too much, and i actually google the lyrics for 34.27% of the songs i downloaded, and actually sing along with the lines. Insane? AND, i dont want to be a singer at all. Lol nothing much, just a thought so i blogged it.

 

 

Me and Myself

So its a pretty awful morning, just take a look at the time. 3.50am and i still cant sleep, all due to the fact i had an afternoon nap AND coffee for dinner. Way to go Lester...way to go. So while i was trying to sleep just now, my doppelgangers started chatting...

 

Dumb Lester: "Oh dear, its kinda bright...even though its at night!"

 

Smart Lester: "Oh please, your eye's pupil dilates when there is less light intake into your eyes, dont you remember your high school stuffs you dumbass"

 

Dumb Lester: "You dont have to be that offensive right, i mean even our eyes dilates, its still considerably bright, and i could even determine the colour of my blanket"

 

Smart Lester: "Sweet Jesus, you know, your neighbours DO turn on some of their lights at their backyards, and lights reflect? Hello? Come on?"

 

Dumb Lester: "Still, it hasnt has to be THAT bright right?"

 

Smart Lester: "How about the moonlight, you smart fool?"

 

Dumb Lester: "Right...that too. So what? You really dont have to be that bossy right, we can be nice cant we."

 

Smart Lester: "Yeah obviously we could, untill you start bombarding me with all the Nerdgrenades. If the one day you're smart, no one else in the world would ever be dumb."

 

Dumb Lester: "Wow, with all due respect i think you should keep those comments to yourself"

 

Smart Lester: "Oh yea, what if i choose to keep making noises. LALALALALLALAALALA........"

 

Dumb Lester: "...."

 

Smart Lester: "...."

 

At this instance both doppelgangers have their hand grasped around their own neck, and struggling to utter even a word.

 

Lester: "Yes i muted the both of you, now let me sleep."

Dispropotionality between Effort, and Rewards.

This is somewhat getting on my nerves, so i checked my Case Study project for Process System Analysis yesterday for the marks, i actually secured ONLY some 64% out of 110%. Excuse me, i beg your pardon, but did you just award me some 64% which is just barely over the half mark?

 

With all due respect, i made sure i did every single part, and i even checked the marking scheme as to how marks will be awarded / deducted so i would minimize all poosible penalisation, TYPED all my shits out as per requested, that including all the formulas and long ass calculation working. Only to find out that all those hardworks are now in vain. How can it even be just barely past the half mark? That is completely preposterous!

 

I dont know what went wrong because i dont have the opportunity yet to take a look at my own phailpiece, but hey whatever it is, do fate have to be that cruel? And please for christ's sake, dont come patronizing me with all the "life is just like that" and a long half an hour blaffing about how good you were at handling such situations like as if i've never been through such obstacles in my life.

 

I just hate it, because on one hand i am trying to be modest, and giving you your credit if you ever know anything better than me BEFORE i start popping any questions amd trying to sound like im Einstein-2nd-Generation. Guess what next? They'd take me as dumb, and start on their long ass blablabla ya-da-ya-da. Do you guys actually realise i'd actually know so much more than you, and just that i'm holding my mouth next because i dont want to embarass you? Usually they never realise that and i had to pull the HEY-STFU-AND-LISTEN-TO-ME-NOW lever. I'm sure that occasionally happens to me subconsciously, and hey, least i'm making an effort to stop that, DO YOU?

 

On a sidenotes, i think religions should teach people that as well. To have a constant self-awareness and constantly have a self-improving mindset, instead of just blindly commiting the same mistakes again and again, and see that you will get through it by asking forgiveness. Do you hold yourself back when you have the malicious intention of committing homocide, or just simply let your rage to take hold of you, and THEN go crying over spilled milks and ask for forgiveness?

 

You think about it.

 

That was quite a long winded 2 paragraph on a minor issue i brought up couple of paragraphs ago, and i'm really kinda not done with my...dissapointment. I could pass mathematics, because i could handle 60% of the paper; Dynamics as well i guess because my internal marks was sorta high; and hopefully PSA as well because the lecturers did mention this upcoming exam is easier than the mid-term one, and of course physics as well because i think failing a subject is just not an option. Whatever may befall on me, come rain or shine, i'm sure i'll find a way to deal with it.

 

And yesterday i watched a movie again, i guess i was doing it to escape from reality. Unless someone could step in, and give me a reality i dont have to escape from.

 

 

Ill

I know, the title looks like "III" to you huh, its actually

 

I L L

 

So i'm actually feeling a little ill, im guessing its all due to the sheer pressure i'm undergoing now. "I think you have a fear for exams, you used to always falling sick when exams comes back in singapore" stated by my dad. Of course i followed with a bazillion excuses and reasons afterwards.

 

It strucked me serveral times already, that to be happy is really all that matters. But, you know, we tend to forget things. So i was sleeping a little early ( 11.30pm, its early. ) and eventually woke up half an hour afterwards cuz i was feeling hungry. Its a good sign, cheers! So yeah, when i was resting a little, i realized i've gotten quite worked out with the exams. I am myself to be blamed as well for procrasinating, although i dont burn overnight fuel to study but the guilt and stress's there.

 

Well, it cant be that bad even if the worst befalls on me right? I mean, life still goes on man. Don't worry lester, be happy.

 

OH OH, on a side note, today like the 6+ of us went for lunch today, and i chat like i always used to, and in a long time ago. Totally missed that with sloggi, 1901 fangirl, function fxeng, Noi, hx and yaw. So yeah, i should keep my spirits high!

Slow

Funny, time seemed to have elasped at a really slow pace today.

 

In a good way, really. Nothing much, just a thought.

Movieholic

So, i watched the movie "The Confession of a Shopaholic" and i realized that...i'm actually a movieholic!

 

Says the girl in the movie, that shopping is like a HAPPY thing! Everything is gorgeous inside, you swap that magical card, and that thing is...yours! You will have the confidence, the ownership.

 

Thats so much for a shopaholic, what about a movieholic? I dont know...really.

 

As in, what i like about movies, is just that you walk right into the cinema. Its so dark! No one would see your reactions, no one would know how retarded you would look like when you laugh, no one would know how you shed your tears when you're touched, no one would know how you have your jaws widely opened for the full duration of that action scene.

 

Because you used you watched TV in front of your family members and friends or i dont know, you tend to...hide your real thoughts and expressions about the movie. Its a funny movie Madagascar, and you'd be thinking twice..."Is this the right scene to laugh?". Its a sad ending, "Is it very un-manly to actually shed your tears?" Slowly we're actually conformed, we became what we would want others to see. Isnt that something, that really makes you suffocate at times? Think about it, seriously. Least for me it does really.

 

In addition to that, the dark environment in cinema, actually isolates myself from my surrounding people a lot, like the noises and condescending looks on me. I can finally sit down, and feel the character in the movie. How is it to discover something in your life, how is it to actually stand out for something you believe in, how is it to have your loved one to be everything to you, how is it to feel helpless and realizing how silly you are, because all you need is just...ask for help.

 

Like usually you would complain your life is boring and so on, but wont you feel like you've just tour the world one round, let your emotions go on a rollarcoaster? Like everytime when the credits screen comes out and the light comes back in the cinema...dont you just feel like you've just went through the exact same thing as them? Like hey,

 

Life Is FEeling

 

I'd like to have feeling for things, i want to chuckle out loud whenever i really feel like it, i want to get angry if i ever bump into a bitch, i want to cry like a water tap whenever i feel like it, i want to....you get my point. All i know is that im not a boring steel ball like the ones you can cling back and forth like a pendulum with each other just the how it would do to my actual balls - hurting me. I am a godamn ball of fluffy cotton, with feelings. And here i am telling you my feeling, my life.

 

P.S. and the next day, i would get back to reality and study for Dynamics and become a emotionless dummy. Urghh.

 

Measurement of Satisfaction

See i knew it the moment you see the title! You're thinking dirty! Or maybe it was me...hmmm figures.

 

Anyways, just for your info, i love to cook simple meals for myself. Spaghetti, or hams with breads. Actually its just these 2 choice i have currently, unless someone widens my scope on homecook foods, and im too lazy to do internet search for foods.

 

So i was having this crave for a homecook meal, that is very much a typical breakfast in western countries ( but i enjoy it regardless the time of the day )

 

 

Ta-daa!

 

1) Super-Supermarket Bought Garden Salad - Freshly picked from the supermarket's refrigerator, with its perfect packaging and temperature, its freshness is preserved. Coated with icy cool Thousand Island mayonise and topped with crunchy bread-cubes. Delicious!

 

2) Oven-Hot Scrambled Eggs - Two eggs and with care, beaten meticulosly. In addition to that, hot melted juicy bakery-pastry standard butter are perfectly mixed along with the beaten eggs at the ratio of 0.3142 : 1. Using microwave, eggs are taken out and scrabled evenly twice.

 

3) Pan-Toasted Golden Bread - Apply SNOW brand butter on the bread gently, toss it on the hot pan and leave it for 30.25seconds. Carefully placed them on the dish and allow sufficient air ventilation between the breads to prevent excessive moisture to jeopardize the texture of the bread.

 

4) All time favourite sausage&ham - Bits of oil and onto the already heated frying pan. The golden opportunity to obtain a tasty food is when they turn gold. Délicieux!

 

5) Old Town White Coffee ( Not in picture ) - Nothing beats the aroma of a stunningly good white coffee that is as good as your neighbouring kopitiam! Sip by sip, indulge your taste buds into a sensations beyond your mind could comprehend into words.

 

6) Apple ( not in picture ) - Fuck it. LOL. i bought the wrong type of apple from the supermarket! Theyre the soft kind and i hate it a lot! ALL non-crunchy apples shall perish from the face of the Earth damnit! IT SOMEWHAT SPOILED MY ENTIRE MOOD! arghhh. Nonetheless, i still enjoyed 90% of the entire meal.

 

7) Plates ( not in picture ) - Oh wait, can they be eaten? NO! Theyre are meant to be washed, and now i have to do the tiring washing up of all the utensils, its like 30min of washing, 20min of cooking, and 10min of eating. bah.

 

Do you feel hungry? Not my problem. =P laters!