Question

 

What is it that i am lacking in my life that could set my life back on track?

 

 

Thank you

I denied my religion, but i will never deny the God i trusted and believed in.

 

Thank you God for making so many miracles in my life, and for the promotional examination that is approaching, thank you again, for giving me a reason to work hard, one that is really a motivation and one that is worth working hard for. Thank you.

The polarity shift of Optimism

Alrighty people, here i am telling you this - i am really fucking sick of my life. Dont be fooled by all the demonstrations of optimism, the fact is that i have been struggling with that goddamn bloody A lvl which inflicted so much agony in my life, and those stress were so fucking uneccessary. really.

 

Finally i have some Nationla Day holiday, which it stretched from Wed to Fri, includind Sat and Sun, i have some 5 days holiday to rest and chill out ad cath up with homeworks. BUT NO! This life's a bitch and that fate is really an assshole to have EVERYTHING against me. 

 

Wednesday, have to wake up early, go to school exactly the same time, went for some lame celebration, then have to go out with my Chinese CUltural Society ( which involved drama only ) and we have to bring a bunch of Indonesian exchange students for a cultural tour, because our club name said so. ALRIGHT i went out untill 3pm, came back, and was very tired and I spend most of the time resting and sleeeping.

 

Woke up today, Thursday on 12pm. Guess what? At 1.30pm my hostel having a sports carnival. YEA YEA although our house was used to be some "loser house" however we clinched the champion for this event, everyone was delighted, but it ended at 6pm+, and i just woke up taking a nap, what time is it now? YOU FUCKING TELL ME?! its near 12! Where on Earth any human have the mood to study now? DO NOT PATRONIZE ME I TELL YOU! Do that and i'll make sure i'll go straight to your mom and mutilate her and i will burn down every single thing you treasure in your life!

 

Tommorrow, Friday, WHAT A COINCIDENCE! She smsed me tonight asking me to help her in the day with her new house! OH NICE JOKE! Not 1h, but FOR THE DAY! You tell me what to do really. Oh yea, and its 10am in the morning, imagine how much more early i have to wake up and just to reach there on time.

 

Saturday, SURPRISINGLY got some chinese drama coming up and what a coincidence it falls during this holiday, although i purchased the ticket recently, but i never realised that it was actually during this holiday. Furthermore its a club activity that is compulsary. WHAT THE FUCK REALLY? its not going to start at night and last for few hours, its taking place in the afternoon. Means, you have to wake up early, get ready, travel under the hot sun, watch the damn movie, rush back for dinner yadayda...one of my friend even invited me for a group study and i am so tempted to just point a fucking middle finger back to her. MY SCHOOL LFE HAVE ITS TOIL ME ON OK?! I AM NO ROBOTS!

 

Sunday, you tell me what's left for me. I have swimming coaching in the afternoon, that is 4pm. Right after that i would be busy showring and rushing down for dinner. Then some hostel assembly untill 8pm.

 

Seriously people, YOU FUCKING TELL ME HOW TO LIVE LIFE LIKE THIS? I HAVE ALMOST NO TIME FOR MYSELF! For once i have time to chill out and sort things out, you gave me all this shits and expect me to cope with it and still catch up with my academic performance? People i did not socre all distinctions for my mid-year OK!

 

I SCORED THREE...3 FAILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Out of 5 subjects!!!!!!!

 

YOU DONT EXPECT ME TO COME BACK FROM ALL THESE AND STILL DOES HOMEWORK!

 

There are some real bastards and son of a bitch out there, which can do this, theyre robots and and work so much much much more than they can even have time to think in their life, its just way beyond the proportion. Yes its them, BUT THERE NO SUCH GENES IN MY VEINS OK?! I JUST CANT DO IT! Got the guts and come and tell me " if he/she can do it, i dont understnd why you cant do it also"

 

God DAMN you. You're a motherfucking assshole, and i wish when it reaches the day you're dying, i would reward you with and additional 20 more stabs in your heart, and i would pour hot tomato soup into that would, seasoned with salt later, later craving "son of a bitch" on your face, cut off every fingers of yours, pluck to chopticks at your eyes, and make you swallow a big bucket of detergent to make sure your brain is well washed. YOU WILL DIE SAYING THAT! I WILL TURN TO THE SATANIC VERSES AND I WILL EVEN IN MY DEATH WILL COME AFTER YOUR DARN FUCKING SOUL AND SATURATE YOU WITH FEAR AND AGONY EVERYNIGHT! YOU HEAR ME??!!!

mirror image

ok hey fellow readers. Well recently i am having this social problem, but i do not blame it, it really makes me reflect a lot on myself and in those times of lineliness i realised a lot of things, and learnt a lot.

 

People, i think it is no bullshit for camps to get you to have reflections every night, on whatever you did in the day. Reflections have its benefits, and adults do not just have reflections every night to make the schedule looks packed. People, take sometime out, i am not asking for some hours of reflection, just a mere 10 minutes off each day, to just pause what you are doing and what have you done in the day. Just pause, and reflect. It will do you good in the growing of your body, soul and mind.

 

Many things i have learnt recently, like

 

Being mature is not pointing your finger at another person and saying hes childish.

 

No. That is just plain not the way to make you more mature than others. I swear never in my life i would use the word "childish" on other people, if i do so, you can point your finger right out at me and tell me im childish and because in my blog i said so, and you should be expecting an apology from me. I am not joking. No adolescents are childish, and even if so may i ask how would you define childishness? People have their reasons, their reasons to behave in that way, like what i previously said, "every action triggers a reaction", so stop pointing your finger at them and say such things. That leads me to my second point,

 

Humans are all unique and diffrent from each other.

 

So, before you blame them for doing so, you should really do as i said, just take sometime out, try to figure out why did he react in that way, and what have you done to make him so mad or pissed or dissapointed. Make up for it if it is your fault. Even if it is not your fault, sometimes you have to ust take the first step. Yes some of you may point me out that i am not taking my first step, but in God's name i swear, if such things happened, means i have already taken way too many first-steps to resolve things with you, and you are just sitting there being ignorant about what you have done. That is not the way.

 

Sometimes we may make mistakes to react in such a bad way to another, but, after your reflections, learn from it, make up for it. I know, that i am very very very hot tempered, and i am such an asshole to always react so fast. Yes people i am sorry. However, as i said, sometimes it is just too much, i can no longer take first-steps, and i have my own dignity to uphold and i am not going to apologize, really, so if you i am an asshole, and not aplogizing, you are obviously not doing your daily reflections. Understand other people, be sensitive. Dont just say things, think before you does. Dont insult before, because you are in no position to do so, you can tease, but do be sensitive to others, and dont over do it.

 

If i might add a word, yes i AM OVERSENSITIVE, i admit that. However, the some of you, are just plain INSENSITIVE towards others. I know this sort of opnions are sometimes very one-sided, but people, but, it is something i find no wrongness in it. Care for people's feeling. I may be a freethinker, but my heart still listen to God and Jesus Christ, and i truly believe that what they want, is only to have this world, a better world ; to have people, living in harmony.

 

People commit sins ( why in the holy god's name i am so holy now? ), and trust me, even if that person will not forgive you for that, theres still always someone there to forgive you. Be it Christianity, Buddism ( sry if i make a spelling mistake) or Hinduism, all religion exists to make this world - a better world. So its ok to make mistakes, but grow up from it people. I can tell you right now, i am NO WHERE NEAR mature, but i am sure of one thing - i am growing each day by day.

 

Few erm, mottos i would like to share with you guys.

 

- Being mature if not pointing your finger at another person and making him childish

- Humans are unique and diffrent from each other

- One more thing, one less thing

- Play hard, study hard ( someone said something even more more more meaningful, and i will remember it, she said "play hard, study hard ; study now, play in December" )

- Every action triggers an reaction

 

So all the best in life!