Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Demons in me

Happen to walk in the rain for couple of minutes to my plant through the muddy roads and the murky puddles of water.

I don't know, it's the gloomy grey skies and the drizzles that form the uniform droplets rebound on the water's surface. That instance in time where you're looking down and watching your steps, and rain's all falling around you with the clicks on your helmet; hands in your pockets and you wrap that jacket tightly around yourself. The utter silence where all works were put to a halt.

There it is - a strange surge of serenity. It felt like as though everything was over, but you can't be too sure as to what exactly is over. But you feel it right there and then, and you can hear your own voice in your head, loud and clear, with a calm tone, echoing throughout the domains of your imagination and to the furthest extent and corners where your thoughts could occupy. 

"It's finally over"

...is all I felt at that moment. Maybe it's also the feeling of being in the present.

There is another moment in the day as well, where your colleagues and boss were discussing about work related issues. Somehow at that moment you've just decided to somewhat tip-toe and tread playfully on the edges of the elevated pedestrian walkway. Speeches blurred, watching your footsteps, extending your arms trying to balance yourself out. At that moment too I felt like I'm in the present, nothing else really matters, not even the documents I was holding onto.

Then you take a leap off, look right back up and back at them, and join back at their conversation. Oh boy, did I really swung my documents too hard trying to balance myself, pen's flew off too when it's supposed to be pinned together with the papers. 

It's times like these that I really feel closest to myself, and god knows - maybe it's coincidence too that the moment where I've felt furthest away from evil is the same instance where I've dropped my pen behind. I did pick it up, and still lost it eventually at the end of the day. 

...shit. Something just became clear to me. Maybe God had a part to play in this, or maybe not - but it's really the demon in me that I'm looking at, and it's a gentle reminder by Him, wanting me to see it. 



Everything happened today suddenly seemed more than just coincidence. 


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