T-Shirt

Took me a good 2 months to realised that I've left this shirt behind in Sydney. Did I mention how much I liked this t-shirt, and that I only hand wash this piece of clothing and never have it inside the washing machine? Now it's gone, just like that. 

There's something pretty special about this t-shirt as well and what's written on it, "This is my love story. It's true" and I feel pretty attached to those lines. Things like these are sometimes irreplaceable. Sigh. This post is published in memory of it. 

Mind

For all the things that you have done...
For all the things that you want to get it done...

For the all the thing that you've heard,
and seen...

For all the things that you'd think you have,
and also the things that are clearly out of your reach...

For all the things you've ever wanted and cried for,
that you've cut out a piece of you because you're afraid of it's cancerous effect...

For all the blessings that you've have attained,
and also the cursed parts of you that still haunts you...

For all the feelings and silent screams, for all the comforts and enlightenment..

I'm just a soul, and I could really use some silence. 

Comma

Been a while since I last posted, and so much has happened. Guess I'm just getting a little lazy to record every moment of my life, sometimes I just let them pass by like that. Just like that. I guess I know what I want in my life, and nothing else seems to matter. 

Anyways thinking back, what came right after my last entry has got to be the release of my results. Obtained a high distinction for my FYP research project, and also HD and a D for the remaining two units. Joy, in it's purest form. 

Next up has got to be the Sydney trip. Total of 6 days and 5 nights, totally unheard of and probably the only fella around who could've spent so much time in Sydney. Thanks to the girls who did all the planning ( while I contributed by being a full time photographer ), I had a very fulfilling time in Sydney, to both my soul and my gut. 

Otherwise, holiday seems to be a breeze and before anyone realises it, it's over. Class resumed and we're tied up a lot by our FYP Design Project. I have meetings with my group mates 3 times a week and the workload is starting to take it's toll on my stamina and spiritual being. No matter how hard we've work, we're still behind schedule and trust me, we've been working. To think that I have a test tomorrow and I just spent a good 2-3 hours this afternoon doing research just bores me out for the rest of the night. Don't even get me begin with how I'm already stressed on the first week of the semester, and the unending occurrence of pimples on my face, due to all the toxic build-up as a result of my stress level. 

My nerdy life, on the other hand, took quite a huge stumble. Diablo 3 still turns out to be a dissapointment and still remains to be incorrigible. Bought Guild Wars 2 though, and placing a good amount of faith in it as well. Otherwise, everything else seems fine. There are of course bigger mysteries in life and unanswered questions, and there are also things that will never be in your reach - so who am I to be so greedy as to wanting everything in life?

Planning to buy a Crumpler bag after much withholding, had my current bag since first year of university and the base of it has been torn ages ago, now that my strap's sewing is faulty, I think I have a good reason to change. My pencil case too, it's still that bloody Body Glove branded one that I've been using since high school. I don't spend much on others, I usually spend on things that feeds my soul - food.  That could be one, but as much as I try to understand why people spend excessively on materialistic things, I still don't quite agree that materialism could actually nourish your spiritual being. All the things that  are sitting around you, piling endlessly with sky's the limit makes me wonder...

...do you actually want those things to fill up the corners of your vision, so you could lie to yourself that you HAVE things and thinking that they could fill up the voids in your heart, instead of facing the harsh truth that - we, human, in fact cannot have everything and some things are just not meant to be ours, and we just have to live with it?

Always makes me wonder what are the exact thoughts at the back of their minds when people constantly have to buy and own stuffs. That and of recent months, I could hear my thoughts more clearly and louder, and I could make up what I really want in my life more. People might mistook me for the change in attitude, but a lot of my actions just dictates that I just don't care anymore, and for all the things that hurts or displeases me, staying away seems to be the better off solution - because my mind's really tired.

I miss us.

Well, the title says it all, guess distractions from reality serve me well, until I have to lock myself out of a game recently because I had to study.


sometimes I really just wonder, where do I go from here? If only I could have things the way they are now...at least for a while more. Just...a while more.

strumming the heartstrings

Haven't updated my blog with any entries recently, since I moved in. That was a good one month ago. I guess I have fully settled into my new house, awesome place. A lot of things have changed, but it's not like things took a turn for the worse.


Shopped once recently, got an Abercrombie & Fitch pants, it was like the most comfortable sweatpants around.

Yeap, that's the one. This time round I actually went for more colourful shirts. Got a yellow tee, a light pink jumper, this green sweatpants, and a Modern Warfare 3 tee. I saw the other sweat pants the other day but I've searched high and low in Melbourne and I still couldn't find it. They're just all sold out everywhere.

It's something like this, but the one I had my eyes set on was the one labelled "A&Fitch" instead of "A&F". What difference could it make? I know, but I just had to have the other one and will not settle for less...although if they do have this one I guess I don't mind? In which case they have neither so... sucks to be me. Pre-ordered Diablo 3 as well, coming out on 15th May, which is pretty close to my examination period. Time flies doesn't it, my semester one is already closing to an end. 

Costs me $10. I'm kidding, that's just as a reservation to my pre-prder. Costs me $89 in total. Thanks mom!    And sorry for not even thinking twice when I pre-order because it's like the most awesome game and I've been waiting like ages for that.

Just another day today I guess. Had dinner, thinking about assignments but couldn't sum up the strength to bring myself to do it. Slacking all day is how we fourth year student roll. Just a thought tho,

Some heartstrings were meant to be severed, and some memories are never to be strummed again.

I guess life just wont be as simple sometimes, especially when that music box you've decided to cast it aside just decides to topple and fall over - to remind you of the melodies that obviously already have layers of harmonic stacking on one another. 

It was once simple, it was once wonderful, but I think I have decided to shut my ears off, and learn to hate it - so I could live a much happy life, which could have been...happier.

Bayview

Oh, if the name sounded relaxing and recuperative, I'd like you to think twice.

It's actually the street name of our new house, and it only spells disaster and loads of troubles when it comes to moving new houses. So, it all started when I got back to Australia. 

It. Was. Scorching. Hot. None like any other hot weather I have ever experienced in Australia, and those that remained in Australia throughout the summer had claimed that it was one of the hottest days. Hell. Imagine my discomfort after alighting the plane, with all the jet lag and that depleted stamina. I could only stay in my friend's house for the day and frankly speaking, it was really uncomfortable, and it's not their house is at fault. That night I had to sleep on the floor, yes, with just a superbly thin comforter which you can find on an airplane (with pillow oh god thank goodness). Not to mention a whole forehead of continuous sweating. However I still have them to thank for, as in for taking us in. I slept in pretty early, but in all honestly I couldn't sleep, I was actually waken up by a sudden stroke of heat. I was sweating. Badly. There and then I realized I really couldn't do this. I went downstairs and sorta get a drink and chill while figuring how am I suppose to spend the night.

This, you have got to believe me. Somehow, there's a voice at the back of my head just whispered to me "Lester, remember? You have a fan." AH! The joy in realizing that! I immediately ransacked my properly sealed boxes of stuffs that I have left in their living room last year, and recovered the fan. OH, thank god! The night was a ton better with that fan. Although it was dry still, at least it stopped my sweating to a significant amount. The next few nights were so much better with the change in weather, and I moved downstairs to occupy my friend's queen sized bed with another friend. 

Until the next major move, I sorta filled the days with Starcraft 2. Hell, I think I improved by NOT playing for over an extended amount of time. Oh, did I also mention my class had already started? And that I miss the first lecture, on the first day because it was raining. Oh c'mon, it's not like I skipped one for the sake of skipping one. Besides, we actually went shopping for some stuffs for our house. Washing machine, bread toasters, vacuum cleaner and furniture are to be named. We already plan to hire a van and drive on our own after making those purchases, because paying delivery for both Harvey Norman and Ikea is unwise. Plus, we had to move our own boxes and belongings. It all started at Harvey Norman. Somehow, I just feel like God has been very kind to me, and I'm starting to oversee all the hardships he had me encounter. One of my housemate, JiaYean , her brother had a friend who worked in Harvey Norman - discounts!

We picked several of the items of our choice, and head to look for her. Apparently she's placed at a HM booth outside of the store, whilst still being in the mall. She had the desktop to issue invoices and prices, so she did so. At nearly the price of the original cost of the item. She was really nice, and to top it off, she even made us coffee using Nespresso which is like insanely expensive. With the invoice, we made the payment first and have it collected another day. That, and we scouted Ikea and noted the items of our choice so we could make haste with our purchases the day we got the van. That being said, I did check whether Ikea provide storage services, apprently they don't, unless with a charge. Meh. 

So, if I'm not mistaken, it was last Wednesday. When all hell broke loose. The plan was to hire a van on Thursday, however I was waken up by a phone call by JiaYean that Ikea has 30% sales on god knows how many items, and we're guessing our items would have a chance of getting discounted. (Just FYI, none of our stuff had discount). So I had to quickly get up the bed and get ready to rent the van because they were already on the way back from campus. I had to call HM and the van rental place to check for their availability. Well, that would be my first time driving a van. Although it was auto, 10% of myself actually wanted to drive manual just for the thrill. Heck, driving is serious business so I stuck to auto. HM was cake, we arrived at the HM warehouse and grabbed the washing machine. Then head over to Ikea (which HM is in the same mall as well). 

This is the very interesting part. I had four items to grab in terms of furniture. A chair, a bed frame, a mattress and lastly the bed support plank. Chair and support plank was in abundance. The bed frame and mattress ran out completely. I swore I cried inside myself. The next jump from the bed frame was around $39 to around $139, so was the bed, which is a hike of around $60. "Who gives a shit about bed frame aesthetics, the bed is meant for sleeping, I'm just a student! I'm suppose to save!". I requested the staffs to help check for any existing stock and explained my predicament that I have the van only for today. One tried, the other couldn't be bothered. Bitch. So unsure about whether the other staff would actually check, I decided to stay there for a moment. Until my senses told me to give it up and look for alternatives. I was really reluctant, but I had to. I mean, what choices do I have? So then I started looking for another mattress, and the moment I picked one and about to leave the shelves, something caught my eyes.  Two mattresses magically appeared on the shelf. I approached it doubtfully, and checked the code. 

JOY. IN IT'S PUREST FORM. Oh man! I caught a glimpse of a staff pushing a huge trolley away and I presumed they placed it back due to customer's change of mind. "Thank you God!" was all that in my mind. However, the storm's not over yet. I still have my bed frame to be worried about. So I did the same thing, however more willingly since I've got the good deal of getting a decent and cheap mattress. God bless that man that heard my cry and dire request. He came back with loads of the bed frames, which he actually did go to unpack extra for me and another China dude who requested the same thing. I thanked him, but he seemed to be very preoccupied with loading the frames onto the shelves. I really wanted to extend my gratitude, really, but I'd look like an idiot. So I could only walk past him after the simple "Thank you so much" and pray silently for him.

Well, that's that for the day, we dropped what we could at our new house and called it a day. Next day was pretty frantic and hectic as well, as we were rushed by the due time of 12pm and at the same time having the need to do grocery and grab winter quilts and bedsheets at a mall. We exploited the van to its fullest it seems, buying all heavy items for grocery such as rice etc. The unloading was hurried as well. However we still manage to get everything done, just taxed our body's stamina that's all. It was worthwhile really, at least we get to save a lot of money, 

Moved in yesterday, including today we've done cleaning for the total of 2 days. That includes a lot of vacuuming and cleaning. The previous tenants were nice to arrange and pay for carpet steam cleaning with their own expenses. That is my room thus far, and I'm missing a study table as you can see. Getting one from a friend this Thursday. House's pretty cozy and huge, rental's relatively cheap as well. I think everything is still tentative until this Thursday where I had to drive a van again, this time down the city, to fetch sofas and tables and beds for the rest of us. A lot of adjustments and arrangements had to be made, but that's expected. Everything went pretty smooth actually. Again, I have God to thank for. 

Guess that's that for today, next time would be an upload to be facebook with a video of a tour of the house and perhaps more pictures! Hopefully this weekend, and hopefully I could get a trip down a beach going this weekend as well. Oh and the Yarra Valley vineyards, ah.

Checked in

It's officially Tuesday now and the idea of packing my life up and getting my ass up in the air for 8 hours just bores me out. Yeah I do miss my awesome new home and my awesome new room alright, but it's not like I'll go crying about missing my home. I think I've just gotten too numb with this, need to keep shifting my life and getting myself out of my comfort zone all the time.

......and crap, to digress completely from the said topic, I actually having a difficulty in figuring what song is relevant to today's entry and mood.

So back to the packing, I mean it's human's nature to be bored by the constant shift in environment. 

......digress. Actually I'm sorta done with the packing topic.

I get to visit my condominium's most expensive Penthouse unit. Boy. That was insane. The purity of the insanity that you get upon setting your eyes and foot into the Penthouse is overwhelming. The Penthouse was mindfucking. At 38th floor, with 7330 sq ft, that is 3.5x of my current unit. 4 bedrooms with maid room. Enlarge the second picture, and see how far it actually extends with me standing at the other corner of the house. It's...plain crazy.

......weird. I feel like digressing again.

On a side-note, I actually getting increasingly cranky these days. That include filing a complaint to a security at my condominium and raising my voice at a cashier girl at Guardians today. 

Story - 1

It's a fine afternoon when my friend drove to my house to meet up with me at my place. You know how condominiums have designated visitor and resident parking. So I drove down from 1st floor parking and when I reached the visitor's parking, I figured I've forgotten to bring my water bottle so what's the harm in just, parking at the visitors and take 5 minute at the tops to grab my bottle? So I did and this old grumpy (they're suppose to be young, vibrant, good looking and polite securities until they've decided to change the whole lot of them because their contract ended and they needed to head back Nepal ) security came and spoke to me in Malay that I couldn't park here.

Look sir, you don't speak Malay with me in this first-class condominium. Half of the residents are Korean and Caucasians. You've just severely degraded us. Well of course I explained my predicament here that I just need 5 minutes at the tops to grab something real quick. He then go on and blah-blah-blah which I wasn't paying attention at all because of all the gibberish that I couldn't be bothered with BECAUSE I'M THE FUCKING RESIDENT. So I smiled and replied "I'm a resident". He actually had the guts to tell me no again. That tone and expression, oh you're really looking for a fight. I spent the next 1 minute arguing with him and he still insisted no.

Cocky securities. I hated these sorta low-life who dared raising their hands at me. I'm not asking a lot, I'm asking you to do your job without overextending yourself. 

So I lost the argument. Correction, I couldn't stand all this blathering. I went back into my car with utmost defeat and annoyance. When I'm about to drive out, I actually wind down the window and asked for his name. There and then he displayed signs of fear and smile and replied his name AND THEN WENT ON WITH HIS BLAH-BLAH-BLAH. I actually said it was enough and he obviously didn't stop. Old people and their grumbling. I actually just rewind my window back up and drove away.

When I got back I approached the Head of Security and reported everything to him. THANK GOD he's an understanding fella and he's been here in the condominium as long as I had. It really felty like chatting with a neighbour when I brought up the issue to him. I have to emphasize again on how I would usually speak in a gentle tone with anybody UNLESS they've decided to trample on my kindness. You'll get hell. He got hell. For the next few days he did salute me with more respect. 

You brought it upon yourself. 

(To which I'd like to explain the situation further. It's really for security purposes that I should ought not to park at visitors because they do crosscheck all the vehicles for safety purposes from time to time. Hence his unwillingness to let me park there in-spite of numerous other available spaces. The Head of Security did suggest that I park at the handicapped if I ever bump into the same circumstance. The thing is, HE could've told me all that like the head of security did, rather than that he told me "no" for every request I made, with that bloody cocky expressions of yours as toppings. Good job there. )

Story - 2

I was shopping at the pharmacy Guardians today with my mom. Upon getting all our stuffs in the basket we approached the counter and place the items on the counter. I was unwrapping a green-bag whilst this Malay cashier girl was scanning the items. She was chatting with the other cashier girl.

The. Whole. Fucking. Time. Without even acknowledging our presence.

Fine by me. Then I said "oh, sini ada bag" and I actually opened the bag for her to place the items inside. 

Boy, the conversation sure was more important. 

She was going to get a plastic bag and put those items in, and you know how I hate to be un-environmentally-friendly. There and then both my mom and I increased the decibels of our voice and mention it again that we do indeed, have a bag of our own, and we would like to save the plastic bags. 

Really? You were that indulged in that conversation?

I actually said very sternly, and raised my volume to a moderate extent at the cashier girl "SINI ADA BAG". She finally stop her conversations but had the GUTS to tell me "janganla marah". This is when I need to show these disrespectful insects who's the boss here. I actually already have my arm rest on the cashier and I told her very, very, very sternly that "Bukan. Sini ada customer and you asyik cakap kat situ". Bitch finally knew her place. Both the cashier girls finally got to work instead of talking. She did right by shutting up and finishing the deal with utter silence, else wise I would really give her hell. I walked out first, then my mom. My mom did mention to me afterwards that the cashier girl later apologized to her and mentioned how sorry she was. My mom too, agrees that these snobbish critters need to be taught a lesson if not for their constant impolite act to customers. 

That and a whole long list of me experiencing idiotic bastards who take my smile and my politeness for granted. Funny how packing my luggage could lead to this.