Birthday - 26

Woke up. Brush up. Freshen up. Eat up. Dress up. Grab my bag, hop into my car, speed through the highways, parked my car, and settle myself in my office cubicle.
Just another day

I'm glad that I have a purpose, I have a commitment. 
Glad that I don't dread the Mondays, glad that I don't dread walking into my office at all.

Lucky to have the allowance to enjoy the ignorance, for it is a bliss.
Lucky too, to be able to live a life parallel to all the disasters and also have the blessing of peace & calm.

Astounded by the fact that I could make decisions in the past year, by myself and for myself only.
Astounding also, to be bold enough to trust my heart and follow the path I genuinely desired. 

Rain just started. A pluviophile I am. 

Yes, lost some friends, but came to gain more of a "me" in myself.

Yes, those were tough times when I was young, but it gave me more courage to love myself even if it means neglecting the need to please some one else. 

Loneliness, is the path of a triumphant warrior. Least that is what I truly believe.

Gone were too, where the lonely days could consume me. I've defeated one of many's most common enemy, for it shall never drive me into desperation ever. 

Wealthy enough to be able to spend on the things that could be of great addition to my life.

Meantime cherished the fact I could discover wealth in such vast, sustaining quantity, and not from the hollows of materialism. 

That was my year of 25 years old.

No checklist, no "10 things to do before you're 30 years old", no excuses made to myself.

Listened to no one but myself, for I am accountable for myself only, and all that I am, or could achieve is all because I followed my heart. 

...and that, is more than any wealth in the world. 

I have myself. 

Reset

Today is a day that nothing else really matters.

The centre of my universe, is me. 
and it'll never spell "me" unless I have the whole world to myself, \
or rather when the world leaves me alone with my world. 

You see, the world and how it should be is all but subjective to the eyes of the individual. 

I get to reset and recalibrate myself.

Untainted

This is the thing about my world.

The more I see, the more temper I've got.
It's the hate that never subsides. 
Anger, in its purest form and so untainted.

That is the thing when I opened my eyes, it won't shut back.

Eternity

This very moment.
I carry a void in me.
Nothingness is all that there is.

Despite that I find calmness, even a strange sense of security.

...and in this moment, I am eternal.

Repositioning

Thanks for reminding me what is important - that is everything else but this.
This lie and facade.

It is very tiring.

Rising

I've been happy for a long while, it's like I've been in a long dive and the water has been cushioning me.
I was very well distracted, well secluded from the outside world.
It's a prolonged moment of utter silence, where my own existence is encased and self-sustaining. 
I would whisper "It's ok. I'm safe. No one can hurt you here" almost infinitely.

The doors are shut.
The decibels flattened.

Then like a surge of current, it all came right back at me.
There's no severing to that part of me. 
I surfaced and there they all are...

Imagine all the cries, the echoes, the pleads.
Imagine them all taking a physical form, just standing still. Stares locked onto you. 
Imagine your helplessness as the eye contacts disables you and emotions poured through the window of the soul.
Imagine the suffocation, the overwhelming pressure of the air and the asphyxiation. 

Like vintage movie clips, you dash through all the death threatening glances.
A whisper into a murmur. Then softly spoken. And the anger intensifies, yelling would soon take place.





Head's back into water.
Where tears, an embodiment of your emotion would be immiscible with the surrounding water. 
So dense it would fall like it would in a medium of air. Yes, just like that. 
You composed yourself. Eventually this sanctuary would be an escape.
It's always an escape, its just that when you're neck deep into this addiction -
the lies, the deindividuation...
it becomes your sanctuary.

All year

I always dreamed about this better life.
I've always felt it coming all along.

Sometimes in life the turns of events just happen to oscillate your mood to the max amplitude that you just know you're not a sorry lad, and that your life is just plain awesome. 

I have already got the keys to paradise, it just feels like...I could do this all day for the year of 2014!

Besides, I just went whitewater rafting at Ulu Slim River in Perak today. Boy was it fun!