Not sure how it would pan out for others, but the time when I feel closest to myself is when I look into my own eyes in front of the mirror. That is when I truly feel like who I am suppose to be and who I want to be.
Every now and then I unintentionally commit actions that would deviate from my supposed pathway, and at the end of the day when I looked into the mirror I just hope there is a way that...I could somehow let them know that I'm sorry and I didn't mean to do that. Often the next morning pride would overshadow my being and it's what we call "moving on". It may seemed like the most normal things but it just feels like if I don't at least reflect on it I'll become worse.
It can be the tiniest matter but it matters. Like how I ignore a friend's question just because I was just too lazy to respond to it; or not acknowledging someone's effort for trying when I clearly noticed it at the farthest corner of my eye; or not trying to keep everyone entertained because I'm selfish and I couldn't be bothered, and perhaps thinking "it's not my problem".
That...and on contrary to what everyone thinks about me - I'm actually very afraid of trying. Because I've always known too well on how to protect my own heart, that I've tucked a lot of feelings away. A dish is best served warm, but often I'd force myself to take the cold one so I will never have to risk getting a burn, and in return the flavour is never quite there.
Ah anyway past 2 days have been a cheerful one. Joy, and how it can be uncovered in the simplest things in life. Now for some quality time with myself.
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