My sassy me.

So i watched My Sassy Girl, and this movies have tons of things about love blah, and about destiny.

 

Destiny. Yeah would you actually believe in that? Fate? They all sounded the same anyways.

 

As for me i really believe in fate, as in who we met, where we end up, what did we do, what happened around us. They all have a reason for happening. Personally i've seen enough mircles in my life, trust me whenever you're down and start sulking for exams, and when i say "Miracles do happen", i really mean it because i've seen it and i've exprienced many.

 

First when i went Singapore, and the first trip i made alone when going back Singapore, i was completely clueless where i shuld be getting down when i reach thbus station in sg etc. Halfway in Johor Bahru, everyone in the bus alighted leaving me and another lady. Yes i was frantic and restless and terrified, to a small extend haha. So when i went thru the immigration centre ( Causeway Point and not Second link, and i swear thats the only time i went thru that for the course of 2 years, ad maybe another second time ) So, this lady lost in the immigration centre, and because of the traffic we had to proceed and while on the other side of the bridge. One of the staff in the bus went searching for her leaving me alone in the bus.

 

Yeah awful experience, then she finally came, with her heels broken. Amazingly she sat near me, and i noticed her taking another pair of new shoes out. She initiated a conversation with me, telling me how one day in KL she bypassed shoe repairers on the street but ignored them, but somehow got the urge to get a pair of shoes for godknow what reasons. And there was she, trying to rush to the bus and her heels broke. Later when we reached she walked me thru buildings and all the confusing paths to the nearest MT stations, 10min walk at least.

 

I used that path ever since.

I bitched about drivers not turning on car signal lights. Then one dayi was day-dreaming in car and forgotten to turn it on during a turn. Now i know why.

 

I hate drivers who drives slow, but once my mind was just somewhere else when i was driving, now i know why some drive so slow.

 

And many many more things kept happening to me and i really noticed it myself, i know i may look an entirely diffrent person from the outside all the time, with all my amplified emotions. I know...i know...

 

I get angry too easily...i laugh too easily...i frown too easily...well because grief make people crazy. I know it sounds selfish, wrong etc. "I thought i was diffrent. I thought i was strong but i'm not". I kept using the reason that i'm always so diffrent thats why i'm like that all the time. Its like a shield and i use it as an excuse all the time. Its pretty pointless most of the time, and stupid. Funny and everytime after such things happen, i felt so ever awful and like, you know the typical "how i wish i've never done that". Maybe thats part of growing up i don't know.

 

Oh and did i mention, this movie My Sassy Girl, i watched it halfway and never continued it untill today. Always thinking its going to be an awful dumbass movie...for a dumbass. Hell, miracle. I now know why...destiny made me watch this movie right now right then. See thats the reason why i love movies. Well something happened recently ( check the date and day ), and this movie had really strucked me hard. I know im all speechless now and probably and apology would never help.

 

Call me emo or whatever, that is because you refuse to sit down, flip the pages and read the storybook. Oh wells, so...hmm...sorry? "How i wished i've never done that". Maybe thats exactly why it happened. Maybe. Perhaps. I don't know.

 

 

Just something

" I know i have suffered things at the wrong place and wrong time, and i also know that what

i have been through is probably very little as compared to maybe some people.

But,

the thing is, all of us had our fair share of growing-up before,

no one deserved to be looked down and despised upon.

 

 

and because everyone had their fair share of their torturous past, everyone is shaped diffrently.

  

 

and we are to catalyse ourselves to fit best for someone. If you cant, just stay away from them.

Find a way to "click" and fit in well with other people.

 

He is who he is. I am who i am.

 

Its like a piece of puzzle, i have my unreasonable part of me, and also the tolenrant part of me"

 

Just something i said in a conversation recently.

Time flies

Yeah yeah you'll probably think im not much a diffrence as compared to some old hags sitting in some kopitiam talking about life etc. But you've got to agree with me here, time flies. AND its fast.

 

So yeah i dug my grave last year by returning from the southern-island,  and i crawled out early this year by submitting myself under the torturous hands of Ausmat staffs. Oh well, torturous it may be, it turned out to be a blessing. Another long road down my self-discovery and growing-up i have made throughout this year, pretty fruitful year i guess. Ausmat IS ending, dont deny it. Theres couple more days to my trials, and then 1 more month and it'll be out finals and there mark the end of my Ausmat.

 

Here am i, drunk with caffein, grieving about the fact that i didnt make an effort to slow things down throughout this year, so things wouldnt bypass so fast. (yeah and at this hour, 1.45am urghh).  Call me an emo-er, whatever.

 

sigh~time really flies. 1.5months more to go, i've gotta make the best out of it. Honestly, i really hate farewells, and i'm afraid of forgetting people.

 

P.S. I am a very forgeful person. That is why i am afraid of forgetting you, my dearest.

Blogs

I learnt something recently.

 

I learnt that not everything in life can be blogged, not everything in life can be mapped out on a blueprint. Some things are just best stay in our minds, that we remember it ourselves the way we want it to be, and make the best out of the memory.

 

That is my life, and that is my memory.

 

( i'll still blog but...god knows when again. we shall see )

Weeks

I don't know, these few weeks had been bad.

 

Although i did pretty well for my midyears, however there was something else in my life bugging me down. Hence my mood are always at a low tide.

 

Nothing much to blog about, really.

Summer Dream

So i went Sunway Lagoon on Thurs...

 

All i had got to say was....it was a very satisfying outing, and i was really...happy. Will always remember the sights and sounds.

Holiday

Holidays, a period of time for rest.

 

Well, come to think about it, i could really use this 1 week break after all. Although the first half of the year was not as stressful as i expected, but some things do run in my head once in a while and towards the end of my mid year Evaluation Examination, they came collectively as some sort of stress.

 

So yeah, maybe holidays arent meant to be so packed with activities and entertainment, maybe they were meant to serve as a time for reflection, a time to get back on track. Get all the focus back, set another realistic target and set out for it again. Also, shaking myself off those unrealistic dreams and desires, because seriously, some of them really aint going to happen. Of course, i am really exhausted of it as well.

 

I need to get more sleep as well, face's been severely infested with pimples due to the overwhelming stress coming from exams and the adrenaline rush. Need to catch a breath as well. Maybe i could get a day and tidy up my room, study desk, and get my car washed. Cant afford to break the monthly routine, really....

 

 

 

 

 

yeah...i should really take a break off everything. Sometimes, not having the need to care for anything in life is good for our soul.