This is bad!

Something is really wrong.

 

When you despise...

 Chips

 

When you resist...

 Durian Bombs

 

When you deny...

 Chocolates

 

AND THEN

 

 

You cant seem to get enough...

Fruits - Vegetables - Yougurts - Green Tea.

This is bad? Lol it seems that i care more about what goes down my gut more than what gets to my taste buds.            

 

My mistake, your burden.

Sorry,

 

To all the fishes i've killed due to my mistake which cost a good 6+ lives. My dear brown tiger barb, green tiger barb which i treasure dearly ever since the addition of you guys into the aquarium. My two other tin foiled barb which both their left eyes were infected and now forever gone. Near two decades of fish breeding experience still not sufficient enough to save the all of you from the widespread of the resillient infection. I'm glad tho, the alpha male of my aquarium still lives, hes ever so big and strong to me. I guess imma gonna have to let go of the two fellas, its a pain tho.

 

Reminds me of the last of the bunch of fishes before the Arowana days. I single handedly raised some 4+ of them for nearly 3 years. One tin foil barb was SO huge particularly...only to have them all died to diseases. Sucks. I missed them.

 

Fish can be as dearly as other pets like dogs and cats too, you know.

Entering Hibernation

As of now, May 5th 2010, 11:35pm. I am sitting in front of my computer, with piles of Thermodynamics tutorial in front of me, completely

 

x_x BRAIN DEAD x_x

 

This is the many instances i really felt disgusted with study, and another look at my textbook/tutorial or any revision done will get me puked. Its not like i've taken enough breaks already, but seriously if you'd ask me to look at the fuckin steam tables again, i'll slit my own damn throat open.

 

 ( hmm i just looked at the steam table again... )

Dont bother enlarging the image, i just randomly picked it from a google image. Chose the one that resembles the steam tables im referring to all the time. Its just numbers and numbers and all of them in 4+ decimal places. Thank godness I was prepared for this when i picked Chemical Engineering. It was always between Chemistry or Chemical Engineering. Chemistry would mean Science Faculty to me. Hell, thank god i did not take chemistry. It is one of my many hated subjects now, and mind you it was my favourite subject. I'd prefer subjects like Thermodynamics anytime. Guess i was lucky to find my niche course.

Somehow i got asked a lot recently by people, like arent we stressed out due to the neverending assignments/test etc, for chemical eng particularly. I dont know really, i would usually whine about it. Somehow theres just this voice telling me everything will turn out just fine these days. Two assignments due next week? No worries, it'll be sorted out eventually.

Like come to think about it, theres really nothing much to worry about, because everytime you think you're heading for a fall, you almost turned out ok all the time. Really, think about how many times you ACTUALLY failed at something. No matter how dark the night is, morning always come. Then when you've recovered you'd probably think that you were dumb to even worry about it right? But then again, you commit the mistake of being neurotic when you come face to face with another crisis. So let me tell you here, the next time you're in a dire situation, think of how you've almost always recover from a crisis, have faith and carry on. And remember, the moment you tell yourselve "I cant make it", i can tell you that you're already halfway near failure already. Maybe you've survived yet again like what i've mentioned earlier, but i'm telling you this attitude wont bring you far. Confidence is the key to success...mostly =D.

........The reason why im still awake is actually i've just eaten a heavy supper, and i've taken naps in the afternoon already. I know tomorrow will turn out to be a disaster of i sleep early. So i'm just hanging out a little later untill my fatigue starts kicking in and thats the best time to sleep.

Oh and i've bought a new monitor because the previous one just sorta...died on me. Samsung B2030 20-inch widescreen. I know i know 22inch is prob the best looking dimension but oh wells, its a want not a need. Moreover when im headed for Aus with a laptop, no one else in the house would appreciate the monitor as much as i did. Hence...you know. Watched Transformer II : Revenge of the Fallen with 1080p quality ( weighed a good 10.9GB for one movie, beat that! ) the moment i plugged in the monitor. Boy...it was plain awesome! Working on a 1080p Avatar download now haha.

.....

.....

I think i should just head to bed -.- CANDY DREAMS!

Broken inside

Another entry, another issue. Saw a message displayed by a friend of mines on facebook, says

 

"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place"

 

Sure it makes a lot of sense. I wouldve given up on so much things come to think about it. Yes there are certain matters that i am still holding on to due to strong reasons behind it, but some are just plain...nuisance. Studies? Really? I still cant believe how are we still studying after nearly two full decades. Oh and before you start whining on studying, you'll be spending the rest of your godamn pathetic life after this two decades of study...working. Great. Just great.

 

It really makes me wonder, what is the bigger picture out there? There must be some sort of significance out there other than just earning money. You've got to admit it its all about it now. One thing really bothers me - are there no one that cared about the environment? I can boldly tell you i make an effort every single day or rather every waking moment. Today alone i could already tell you

 

#1 I actually bypasses numerous trashbins, and walked a good distance looking for recycle bin just to recycle paper.

#2 I drove just now with air-con off intentionally because the weather was cool

#3 I brought my own bowl to pack my dinner

 

And still i heard people rather packing stuff etc. Like seriously those plastic bags are going to be incinerated or buried, and you can watch them so ever still and cool? Come 2012 or the end of the world, no repentance would matter anymore. I'm not asking you to sacrifice all your possesions though, just a little effort everyday without jeoperdizing much of your convenience, and help the environment. Who needs 60 Earth Hour? I could honestly tell you i comepletly forgotten about it, but hell that 1 hour of electricity you've saved? Is nothing compared to the electricity you COULD HAVE saved on a daily basis.

 

For christ's sake really.

 

I'm exhausted on one hand really. I mean i DO have more burdens that what i apeared on the outside, ok fine. Who doesnt? I kinda just feel like the all of me, just hangs in the balance because i just lack the Love. Like a silly boy waiting for true love and whatnot, but yeah its a huge part of me missing off. I dont know what to do anymore for the most part, but i do know it can bring a difference. Its not like i've never dilamun cinta before, i know it because it drives me crazy.

 

Love is kind. Love is patient. Love is slowy losing your mind.

 

True fact.

Homework (remix)

I swear, do not ever ever attempt to type a chemistry report or complete any homework, with headphones on with volume near 100% and playing this

 

 

You cant get anything achieved except reaching complete clubbing-mode. Maybe its just me very prone to clubbing mode everytime i heard heavy electronic music.

...is bad

I have a fetish. A fetish for movies. It goes the same for songs.

 

Movies are not as bad as mp3 really, for music-wise i just have to own every single damn song i came across. Hence i bought the awesome iPod nano 16GB ( rather than 8GB ), which filled up just a little over 8GB the FIRST TIME i loaded my songs in. Awesome much? Now it sits nearly 10GB ( 9.96GB precisely, i just viewed my iTunes a sec ago ).

 

Movies are like first love. Yeah you heard me, the very moment i set my gaze on the title or trailer, i'll be in love with it. That of course, does not apply to all of the damn movies around the world. Once i've gotten enchanted with one, i have to watch it regardless, which brings me to today's movie wishlist.

 

1. Ip-Man 2. Hell i didnt know that movie is so good untill i've watched it. Got hooked ever since.

2. When in Rome. Dudes like me dig chick-flick/romantic movies as such.

3. Iron-Man 2. Seriously, can you say no to that?

4. Prince of Persia. MOREEEE action movies wootz!

5. Sex and the City 2. Dont laugh, i actually liked sex and the city and i've watched it at a young age on HBO channel. But i'd download it over going to the screens for it, dont think its worth the money.

 

Owh and by the way, i forgot what newspaper add was that, New Straits Time or so, i've been seeing those advertisements on the road side, just plain white background and 2 lines of words. Dang, they play really well with words and really gotten you to think.

 

"If less is more. Is more less?"

 

"Is a zebra white with black stripes? Or black with white stripes?"

 

"Does a professional footballer work? Or play?"

 

Pretty interesting stuff. Thats all, laters!

Broken

I actually studied just now, good progress. And now i'm caught in this maelstorm of emoness again. Friend asked what do i think about love and giving up on it and such, all i could say was

"Dont stop looking for Love. Dont ever stop untill you've found one".

hmm..figures.