Another day, another entry. I noticed most of my blog entries are quite emotional, its not like my life is engulfed in constant emotional state where waves after waves of misfortune would keep crashing onto me continuosly and endlessly. Its just that i have lack the drive to blog about something cheerful. Its not like something delightful never happened, its just that i have a higher tendency of blogging about feelings that were otherwise unheard for most people around me. Why and why is that so?
It soon came to my realization, and i guess im just like everyone else, theres a part of ourselves still clinging onto the steely cold bars and struggling to get out of this cell. We want to be heard, beacause we caged our most truthful-self to...ourselves, and also lacked the courage to really open ourselves to others. See, thats how this "open ourselves" term came about. So...i guess i want to be heard as well but another part of myself would shut myself off.
The coat to your innermost thoughts, are like the 21st century lock. It can double lock, and triple quad and on.
Every turn you've made to lock it further, the harder it is to turn it the other way round and unlock it.
It just gets harder to spit out all your cries within you isnt it? I still wonder, will something devastating happen in the future? So badly i could once and for all pour out all my feelings, and then find myself back again amidst of all the already shed scales and skins. Dead scales and skins.
Its been hard to express my feelings nowadays, and sometimes i just want to cower back into my sanctuary by just hugging. Hugs always give me the sense of security, and i'd wont have to register the words "its alright" or "its ok" through my ears to feel it.
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Hmm what did you say? *TACK* the sound of keys clinging against the inner lining of the lock and the reinforcement of the lock, tucks the key away into the pocket and walks away.
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