shopping

As sad as it sounds, i think i actually did my homework before i head to shopping. I sorta walked right straight into the shop knowing exactly what I wanted to buy. Something I've sorta wanted for a while even though it still cost a lot.

Oh yes. Converse. Black leathery ones. I love it because its plain. Yes you've heard me, because its plain! And I could seriously wear this pair of sneakers and fit it with all sorts of pants. Aint that awesome. Besides, I've always liked sneakers, and Converse particularly. Im actually somewhat sad to realized to find out that my other pair of sneakers, had its colour faded so badly that I could barely recognize it from the shelves. But its ok! I'll still love you! But yeah, this pair cost me some RM190 or so, which it took me less than 5min to decide. Well after all, like i said I've done my homework. Actually surfed Converse's official online webpage and browsed through all the sneakers. Had a crush on this particular one for quite a while.

Now its all left to Levi's Jeans. Theres a new 591, but sadly its no in Malaysia yet. Not sure whether I'll pick that or 514's Big and Tall ones, they looked pretty good too. I need to have 591 in the store to do the comparisons, the rest just looked like a carpenter's pants to me. Period.

Oh, also had dinner with tons of people for Sean's belated birthday celebration. It was some nice catching up with people, especially TianHui whom I hadnt talked to for...quite a long while haha. 

I did realize something though during dinner, like although I really do like the company and the chatter and catching up going on the table, there some part of me deep inside, actually wanted to have some solitary. For some odd reason. I dont know what exactly drives me into becoming such a person, but i can sort of feel it has got something to do with...maybe I shall not mention it. I aint all too sure about it as well. 

Oh by the way, Facebook movie is pretty good to watch. Although i think my friend to my left sorta fell asleep during the movie. Guess its just me, and i guess thats all for today. 

Lester, signing off here.

Lies

So today I went Genting for some chillaxing. It was somewhat a sudden suggestion but I'm alright to it because im just so incredibly adaptive free.

Period. I dont know what else to say seriously haha. Other than that I think the next thing that comes to my mind that is worth mentioning is probably the bus driver's crazy driving. Oh yeah I did have some disagreements for the trip but oh wells, better than none else wise this thing called "friendship" would seem abnormal.


Thats all folks!


Not really. I lied. I actually wanted to talk about something else but I guess its too risky to just put it outside, but i guess also I dont want to hide my entire blog just because of this one entry. Cool method to use this javascripts to hide it. Also I dont like to show all my emoness and all, yes its cool to express it once in a while, but if you do it all too often it really do says a lot about your personality.

Anyways I have heard people giving up on love in a matter of months. Seriously you could do that? I'd want you to teach me how to do it if you're really liking a person. Today somewhat my friends and I were talking about meaning of our names.

周立恒.

Thats my chinese name. So we were discussing how inaccurate our names are most of the time. The center character means independence, which I've clearly achieved. The last is perseverance, which to some extent I find it conflicting after I said its inaccurate. I dont understand. You call that love? How can you just give up on it just like that? Two months? It took me great effort and yet i cannot shake that feeling off. The same feeling for the same person, since day 1 you met each other. No matter how hard I try shaking it off, the next time the both of you come face to face, all the "Its not worth wasting my time on" and "I already gave up" went right down into the drain I'm tellin ya. All the feelings you think, yes YOU THINK you've buried it 8 feet down immediately surges from the ground and swarm your entire entity.

That is the situation I'm in, for nearly 2 years. Then I'm hearing people that could give up in months. I'm not judging honestly, I just dont understand. I'm not dying to learn the technique to do it, because that fire that resides in your heart just wouldnt die off, and theres always that tiny part of you who would NEVER give up until the very last moment.

Its to a large extent a very excruciating struggle. All the crazy poets and their exaggeration about love, now seemed to all make sense to me now. Well, you'd probably be asking why am I still not making the move, that's because it'd be deflecting my own moral compass to to break up a person's relationship. I'm not saying I'd win over, which is why I am struggle to tell myself to just, gosh, just give up and it just wouldnt die! I wouldnt want to make the confrontation as well because I'd just want things the way they are now, and I really dont want to create an atmosphere of utmost awkwardness the next time we meet each other.

Its a dilemma, a situation that seemingly could only happen in TV drama. However here I am now, with all these difficulties. Its tiring as well, because...I dont know what to call it, my folly or my very soul just will not give in to any obstacle, and it does not know what my mind's limit it and its taking a toll on my mind. Everything evolves around the person. Everyday, almost without fail, the first 5 things that gets to your mind is the person's face. Being the first is just plain lying, because you might really get awaken by something and you'd think about the noise first.

So yes you can say I'm in the world of pain now, at the same time...you cant call this torment really, its really really wonderful at the same time to be able to fall in love with somebody. Read carefully, I did not say "Step into love", i said "Fall". The center of gravity is no longer in your grasp. So yes, call me a lovetard or what, yes I did had only one relationship in the past and its major failure haha, but this is definitely something more. Much much more. Now I think i could understand a little more how some people in the past, during war times could wait for their loved ones for years. All the sacrifices they have made, willingly for their loved ones.

Well, actually I just couldnt find anyone to pour all these feelings out to and I really need an outlet. SAVING THIS AS DRAFT DOES NOT HELP AT ALL! Posting this somewhat in a hidden manner serves A LOT like an outlet to me really, as in I really do feel like i have let it out. I probably wouldnt like anyone reading this except only a FEW ( I guess you know who you are =D ) who knows a GREAT deal of me at the same time, which on the complete opposite I'd want to talk about. Of course, let alone you bringing the topic out loud and interrogating me the details. Phew, i feel so much better now.

umm, my skin actually felt itchy tonight, for some odd reason. I know, its random haha.

Why can't I breathe

Been a long while since I've posted anything. Partly because when holiday kicks in, everything started becoming real sloppy. Well, im not obligated to rush or get anything done in such a hurry anyways, why else would it be called a holiday anyways. 

Not many interesting things have been happening since the beginning of my holiday, neither is anything so depressing that it would crack my day up. Not saying there aren't any depressing thoughts at all, just that I've decided quite a while ago that I shall refrain of making any saddening posts, be it here or in Facebook. It just goes to say what kind of person you really are. Well, nobody gives a damn anyways. At least for me, towards people who have a habit of complaining stuff on a daily basis.

I'd probably going to get my internship going, but oh gosh my hands are so heavy whenever I'm going to bring myself to type that resume.

Besides, this holiday I have not been planning anything significant for myself and my friends. Probably feeling pretty exhausted of doing so.

Oh wells, so far I've been doing nothing and probably something I wanted to do for this holiday. I just want to take some time off for myself, and spend some time with myself and catch my breath.

I am my own compass.

The compass always points to the north. The human's compass points in various direction. Wheres yours pointing?

Again, its always during examination period where people have ample time at home to study and be with themselves, and that is when a lot of question starts popping out. Our quest, as student, was of course to strive excellence in the academic field. Get a good grade, a distinction, or even a high distinction.

Where as it seemed to be a easy task for some people to obtain a HD, whilst it appeared to be a very difficult task for somebody as well. I am that somebody. I wont deny the truth that, I am in fact still incapable of securing a HD after nearly 2 years have elapsed since the start of University. It seemed too much a shame sometimes. I will not deny the fact that I do secretly envy the clever students around a lot, whilst some really has nothing much to be envious about because their character just blows.

It makes me wonder really, what these people will have to go through to obtain the grades. All the time, effort, and a whole long list of other things they've sacrificed for the grades. Because, I'm telling you for the effort I've put in the get a minimum three Distinctions a semester left me pretty much exhausted and drained after the examination. To think that if I were to put in the extra effort to push the grade up to HD, I'd die. Well of course that is exaggeration. So here am I thinking, is HD really all that is too our lives right now? Of course its a "No", and for those who came up with the answer within a split second, think again.

Digress for a minute, i know its random.
To all the guys out there who have judged other girls, I'd invite you to look at yourself in the mirror first. I'll keep my mouth shut if you're downright a good deal, but I'm sorry, you looked like fuck in the first place. So stfu and L2Respect each other.

Back to the topic. So I'm just thinking, if you're constantly tied down by your affiliation currently and devote all your time to it, and, if and only if, this never ends, what time would you have left for yourself? 5 or 10 years down the road you probably would be one of the many people around that regretted for not enjoying the past times of their lives. Yeah you could disagree on that and I'd give it to you because my intention was never to force these ideas down your gut. Only on one condition.

I do not want to hear your whining whatsoever, at all. No broadcast how FML your life is. Seriously, I admit I used to be a complain-machine, but now that I've learned not to and saw the light to it, it feels sickening to see when people complains. Yes its really fine if you've got into a car accident etc, but if you were about to complain about things like you falling ill or getting a gastric all day everyday? I'm sorry that is just plain voice pollution, or rather, aesthetic pollution since its all over Facebook nowadays.

So finally here I am to my thoughts today. Let me just make it real simple.

I'd rather get three Distinctions, and be happy. 

Stressed desserts

Its been nothing much for the, i dont know past few weeks.

Actually there are. Peer pressure got a hang of me and I'm under a lot of stress. Doing my best no longer counts, its doing well what counts. It sucks, when you've seemingly put in a tons of effort and the results are satisfactory most of the time, well, at least until you started viewing other's.

So I've really been studying, staying at home etc. Only today, when the seemingly nice weather gave me hell. Just got my hair wet by the rain for like less than 10seconds and now I'm already down with fever. Thank goodness its only a mild one where I could get some rest and recover, hopefully. So much for praising the cool weather for the past few days.

I actually missed a couple of things earlier and was lazy to note it down here. E.g. my auntie from HongKong came down and brought their local delight, "wife cake". Also theres this one Sunday i had to babysit my sis and her bf's little dog until the night. Right there and then I realized I really couldnt stand having a dog in my household. Only puny ones like hamster of fish strictly kthxbye.Furthermore there is this one day, hmm, make it two days I've gotten quite worked out with a subject, Heat and Mass Transfer (CHE2163's the unit code). Just an insight into the subject, the past year paper only had 2 pages worth of questions, and then the rest of the 10 pages were filled with formulas. Yes, by formulas I meant formulas. All alphabets and numbers. Good thing is my efforts are finally paying off, at least I could get the majority of the question solved as opposed to having to have to look at solution and still spend 10min deciphering their working. 

Right now i guess I'm just waiting for the food in my stomach to digest a little more before heading to bed. Life sucks, just sometimes.

1,2,3 and 5

It means random, if you're still tilting your head sideways and frown with much confusion.

Just a couple of things, i guess i'm just hyped with my new blog hence more frequent entries are seen. Firstly, I lied. I clearly wanted some other wallpaper. So I've found another one and god knows how long this one is going to stay. 

Digress. I've finally gotten my very own DSLR camera simply because I'll be bringing one with me when I'm going Australia. My initial plan was not to bring one with me, after much consultation, i came to the conclusion that bringing a DSLR over is the situation a condom can get you into. Yes, the seemingly vocabulary mistake you've spotted is indeed not a mistake. Its the situation of "better to have one when you dont need it, rather than not having one when you needed one".

Everything is second handed material. The body itself is a second hand with ONLY a measly 600 shutter count. Well shutter counts are like a car's mileage, they are some form of a measure to its age. Basically 1 shutter count - 1 shot. The lens is a 18-200mm VRII lens. So actually i did clean it up a little. The screen protector is glass and i put it on myself, yes, I'm pro enough to do it haha. The strap is not the original strap because the original one would have no elasticity AT ALL. Its a pain to your shoulder, so I've gotten myself another strap. Very comfortable indeed, and it has that little curve to match your shoulder's dimension. Very smart indeed. Of course, not forgetting the UV filter I've added to protect the lens as well. Thats all about it. 

Digress. Just wanted to show how ordinary my lunch sometimes can be. 

(Oh did I also mention I had this lunch setup, because I found out basically I've overspent for the past few weeks?)

Its more waiting than eating than cooking than washing. Its all the pasta's fault. It takes 10min plus to be fully cooked whilst everything else is nearly instant. The scramble egg which took me less than 3min to make. The pasta sauce from supermarket. The black pepper hotdog from supermarket which I just dump them in the boiling water along with the pasta. Top it off with a cup of coffee, and thats my lunch. 

Digress. This spectacles. Actually works.

(Introducing the 101 Spectacles to view things like a fruit fly)

DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT look down on this thing. It actually works and last time round when i was still in secondary school, it actually managed to reduce my eyesight degree significantly, but of course not until it could render my 100degree spectacles useless.

Digress. Blogging on blogspot is actually a much more pleasant experience than Windows Live. Yes windows live, you can suck on it.

exfoliate

So, windows live finally offered an alternative to windows live blog. It sucks, if you want my honest opinion. So i was hopping they couldve offered a transfer to blogspot but no, they chose Wordpress instead. Yeah you've probably heard that before but I wouldnt place a bet on wordpress. It just doesnt look as promosing as blogspot. So to hell with it, i actually spent 2 hour or so figuring and searching around on how to transfer all my entries since 2006 over. You've gotta thank windows live for letting you to export your old blog tho.

Here I am, finally using Blogspot. Here marks the beginning of Blogspot.

Havent been posting entries for a while. Actually after the Monash ball event i did a surgery and had my wisdom tooth removed. With the combined help of sedation and local anesthetic, i actually fell asleep right after the injection and woke up realizing they were cleaning up already. What comes after that is both infuriating and annoying. It took me 5 full days for the swell to shrink to a acceptable shape, and 2 full weeks untill i could remove 8 out of 9 of my stitches. Its probably a month plus from then, and its nothing nice to blog about so I did not make a long ass blog about it.

Heaps of assignments and mountain-high of reports came clashing down like a tsunami not long after the surgery. However as of today i'm officially relieved of all these torturous assignments. Thank goodness, i could finally lock myself at home and enters the panic mode.

One particular thing, of all things bothers me a lot. My work attachment. I dont know why it actually bothers me a lot whenever i thought of it, in terms of unpredictability. I've got the idea of working for a month during this year end's break and the remaining two months during the end of Year 3. Well, things dont always pan out the way you want and employers nowadays would of course want you to work a minimum of 2 months. Along with a lot of limitation, also comes the worry that if i failed to get my 3 months done before my final examination, my graduation would be delayed. In all honesty, I really do want to wear that graduation hat with everyone else at the same time.

So it really riled me up a lot. Actually got me thinking, is there something more to me than what I am now? Is there it to all we will be doing for our lives? I guess my emotion at this point of time is really like the background image. I always had a goal. It sounds silly but a quote in Twilight : Eclipse is actually darn good.

"When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. Our things were answers like astronaut, president, or in my case, princess. When we were ten, they asked us again. We answered - rock star, cowboy, or in my case, gold medalist. But now that we’ve grown up, they want a more serious answer. Well, how about this...Who the hell knows? This isn’t a time to make hard and fast decisions. This is the time to make mistakes. Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere chill. Fall in love - a lot. Major in philosophy because there’s no way to make a career out of that. Change your mind. Then change it again because nothing is permanent. So make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask again what we want to be. We won’t have to guess. We’ll know"

I'm just not at that stage yet to know what i want. Maybe because im still detesting the idea of working too much right now all because im constantly labeling myself as a student. I know there comes a time where I'll need to work, when that time comes I will work. Meantime, I just want to do what I am suppose to do now. Perhaps I should revise my opinions, maybe I should look at the job attachment at a completely different angle. Who knows.